@beaconpostpartum: I’m 4 weeks postpartum and I cried over something tonight that sounds so stupid when I say it out loud. My best friend posted from a bar. That’s it. Just a normal picture. Drinks on the table, everyone dressed cute, people I know in the background. And my first thought was: Why didn’t she ask me to come? Then my second thought was: Girl. You wouldn’t have gone. 😂 And she knows that. My baby has been attached to me all day. I’m exhausted. I haven’t washed my hair. I don’t know what I’d even wear right now. The idea of getting dressed, leaving the house, sitting at a loud bar and pretending I’m not thinking about my baby every 30 seconds sounds horrible. If she had texted me, I probably would’ve said no. But apparently I still wanted the text. And seeing that picture without ever being asked made me feel like something had quietly changed without anyone telling me. Like I’m not part of that version of life anymore. I know my friend. She wasn’t excluding me. She probably thought, “She has a newborn. I’m not going to bother her.” Honestly, before I had a baby, I probably would’ve done the exact same thing. But sitting in a dark room at 3am gives you a lot of time to think about things you absolutely do not need to be thinking about at 3am. 😭 So I typed it anonymously into this app. Basically: “I’m 4 weeks postpartum. My best friend posted from a bar tonight. She didn’t ask if I wanted to come. She knows I can’t. That’s what got me.” I almost deleted it because I felt ridiculous. Then a mom from Florida replied. She said she felt this so much. That she had to mute her friend chat because she’d see everyone making plans without her. They weren’t being mean. They just knew she couldn’t go. And she said: “We didn’t die. Old us might be gone for now but the new us rocks too.” 😭😭😭 Okay. That got me. Because THAT’S the part nobody really explains before you have a baby. You expect your life to change. Obviously. You know you won’t sleep as much. You know you can’t spontaneously go wherever you want anymore. You know your priorities are going to change. But nobody tells you how weird it feels to watch your old life continue without you. Your friends are still grabbing drinks. People are still making last-minute dinner plans. They’re going away for weekends. They’re sleeping until 9. They’re leaving the house with one tiny purse and somehow no backup outfit, diapers, wipes, bottles, pacifiers and emergency burp cloths. 😂 Meanwhile leaving my house currently requires the logistical planning of a small military operation. And I LOVE this life. That’s the confusing part. I don’t want to trade my baby for that bar. Not even remotely. I’d choose this little person every single time. But sometimes I miss the girl who could just say “I’ll be there in 20.” I miss being included without everyone calculating whether motherhood allows me to participate first. I miss being invited. Even if I’m going to say no. Maybe especially then. Because the invitation says: You’re still you. You’re still my friend. You’re still part of this. We know you’re somebody’s mom now, but you’re still somebody we want sitting at the table too. And tonight, a stranger in Florida understood that immediately. Then she sent me a hug at 3:02am. I don’t know her name. I don’t know what her baby looks like. I don’t know if we’ll ever talk again. But for a few minutes, while the rest of my house was asleep, another mom made me feel completely understood. And maybe that’s what I needed more than an invitation to the bar anyway. So if your friend just had a baby… Keep inviting her. Invite her to dinner. Invite her even when you’re 99% sure the answer is no. Don’t decide for her that she can’t come. Let her say no. Because sometimes the invitation isn’t really about going. Sometimes it’s just proof that underneath the diapers and feeding schedules and spit-up and 3am wakeups… you still see her #mom #baby #MomsofTikTok #momtok #momlife

beaconpostpartum

Open In TikTok:

Region: US

Friday 02 October 2026 16:23:06 GMT