Patty | Surviving ➡️ Thriving
Region: US
Monday 05 October 2026 04:05:25 GMT
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biIIie 🦋 :
yup! members of my asian family thought me going no contact was WORSE than the literal abuse i walked away from
2026-10-05 04:09:37
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sspector2 :
My dad was indigenous and horrifically abused me and my brothers to the point all of us went no-contact. We lost the majority of my dad’s side of the family. To them, it didn’t matter that his drunken, violent, outbursts were abusive. They didn’t care that he locked me in a closet for twelve hours bc I asked him to at least pick up the beer bottle. It didn’t matter that he slapped one of my brothers so hard that he broke his nose. We were ‘selfish and ungrateful.’
2026-10-06 01:29:21
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jwen 🍉 :
Such a needed space! For me personally, the framework I’ve found is this: When I restore health to myself, I restore health to my lineage. I am a node in the web, and the more healthy and functional I am, the entire web benefits. (And sometimes that does mean disconnecting from the dysfunction, so I can heal and establish new patterns of health). For me, I honor my wise loving ancestors when I say “no more” to perpetuating toxic patterns. I honor my ancestors when I refuse the entrenched dysfunctional patterns that otherwise would keep getting passed down.
2026-10-05 17:25:03
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creativemagiqueredux :
It’s seen as “selfish” among the estranged abusive western parents, too. Because “respect” = obedience, and deference in their immovable mindset.
2026-10-05 23:35:49
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Γιάννα 🧿🌹🫒🌻 :
Yeah, that's why I started telling all my dad's family in Greece about the heinous, selfish, disrespectful, dishonorable, dishonest things he does 🤷🏻♀️Funny how they stopped giving me the cold shoulder and trying to guilt trip when I came with receipts. They know he has no character, they just didn't realize I wasn't going to keep enabling and hiding his behavior.
2026-10-05 13:24:16
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dollybouvier :
It’s seen as a betrayal in western culture too…
2026-10-06 00:21:43
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Birdie Belle :
it’s crazy because our parents disowning us (especially daughters) is seen as understandable. It’s only selfish when kids go no contact from parents. The amount of times my parents threatened to disown me as a kid needs to be studied because it’s so distressing to know your parents will throw you away at a moments notice unless the child acts right.
2026-10-05 19:38:57
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Miss B :
Haha I have the opposite problem. My Indian parents cut off all their toxic siblings. It makes it so much harder for me to keep relationships with my cousins.
2026-10-05 12:06:01
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Davkat :
Western culture also sees it this way. It's only acceptable among millennials and younger.
2026-10-05 21:21:02
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NoContextNeeded :
Yup I’m African and I’m in contact with no one. People always trying to guilt trip
2026-10-05 14:03:09
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♡ Fatima ♡ :
My Bengali family is similar. I am kind of no contact with my parents, but not my sibling so I still kinda know what’s going on with them. They see this as such a terrible thing that I’ve done, but I’ve seen them go low to no contact with their siblings due to drama and grudges for years at a time and then come back and pretend like nothing happened. But they think what I’m doing is so different and unheard of/unacceptable.
2026-10-05 20:00:34
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Godmother Simone :
exactly
2026-10-05 18:33:44
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barely reined-in chaos :
I'm no contact with both parents, but I didn't do so for my own protection. I did it to protect my kids from receiving the same abuse and neglect I did. still feels collective, but from a future/descendants looking perspective than a past/ancestors perspective.
2026-10-05 17:49:00
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user89008286166 :
This is so on point! I’ve had to have difficult conversations with clients and other clinicians alike for clients who experience this in real time- a bit of a different scenario where they wanted to marry outside of the culture and the therapist they were working with didn’t understand they will be disowned. the isolation is far too real and painful!
2026-10-05 15:03:15
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Super Mario :
That’s not true. No legitimate therapist routinely recommends disconnecting from family.
2026-10-05 15:33:48
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christophersasin5 :
Therapeutic spaces ?? New speek !
2026-10-05 19:38:43
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Nyisha :
Families are often protecting the abuser. This is great content
2026-10-05 04:34:11
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nextimearound :
absolutely seen here as a daughter of East African community
2026-10-05 04:10:55
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The Entire Internet :
Some cultures are better developed than others.
2026-10-06 01:13:45
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Orion :
Let’s call it what it is.. abuse.
2026-10-06 04:40:13
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TheAlgorithmbroughtmetou :
Yes. Enmeshment is a huge part of the collectivist cultures-Hispanic families are just like this. It is difficult to balance while living in America-first generation Americans get ridiculed and shamed big time. 💯💯
2026-10-05 18:44:42
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