Loveyourlife79 :
Everytime. I sometimes hate MYSELF for being so stupid. I hate myself for allowing a man to destroy who I was. He was so “great” when we met, seemed kind, told me to quit my job cause he wanted to take care of me as a man should he said. It took me awhile to leave my job BUt he convinced me it was the right thing to do. It took a few years for the real him to shine bright bright, clues existed along the way I ignored cause he was so nice 😳 we went though 6 miscarriages together and he always seemed sad and excited for a child. I finally got prego with my son and after birth ALL changed, like he was jealous of our son. Jealous a newborn needed attention more than a grown man. The mental/emotional/financial and physical abuse got out of control. Took me years it be brave to leave, it was hard, I had NOTHING but debt in incurred in MY name. I hasn’t worked in years and years and I had a very young child. He told me I’d be homeless in the gutter without him. I’ve worked so hard to keep my son and I afloat, he of course doesn’t help. Recently he asked to take our son to look at Halloween costumes and I thought oh wow he is gonna buy him one & HELP. NOPE he texted me the pics to get them. To this day the emotional and financial abuse affect me the most. He would blame me for ALL that went wrong, all bills were My fault, I got yelled at for any bills due, I told I was not deserving of things for MYSELF. That all stays with me, so I never treat ME, I have two bras from 8yrs ago that underwire pokes me, but in my head I don’t deserve anything and I’m a burden to my son and myself if I get something for me. I don’t know I stay mad at ME for his abuse how crazy is that 🥺🥺
2026-10-06 02:33:23