@haleykloha: Anytime a violence case is highly publicized you can guarantee that at least one of these myths will be leveraged to discredit and disbelieve survivors. #abuse #domesticabuseawareness #coercivecontrol #education #violence

Xtina.theUGCmuse :

sunday, my daughter said "push daddy. say sorry, you hurt me." my husband said "that didn't hurt. dint say that" I said "how dare you. she said it hurt you say sorry & if u meant it, you stop." he laughed & said "oh come on! It didn't hurt!" i quietly said "check yourself quickly. your daughter said you hurt her. you apologize & dont do it again. you are the safest person in her life and you are downplaying her experience. do you know how that looks? u r 48, she is 4. u r white, she us black. you are in a power position, she is in ur care. have you lost your mind!?" he said "i havent. Cora, I'm sorry I hurt you. with my hand and potentially with my words. im sorry." she said "thank u daddy" I sed "you kno we all make mistakes sometimes. its important we keep an open mind considerate heart, & graceful words when dealing with each other right?" she said "u didnt mean to hurt me daddy, just be careful. we r always learning right?"

haze_oo7 :

Can you speak about coercion? What constitutes it? Thank you sm.

Ethel Hamilton :

yep. I'm a plus sized woman. I was looked upon that i should be lucky a man would look at me

Penny :

I was raped by my husband and struggled with processing it! Such a helpful list! Reposting to spread awareness! Thank you! 🩷

Tinker Gnomad 🏳️‍🌈 :

The movie about the Pam and Tommy Lee tape, while I feel bad that Pam Anderson hated that movie, when she said "Oh! I get it. Sluts don't have rights," that fully blew my mind. The spicy community was having nuanced conversations about consent several years before I heard these conversations in mainstream spaces. The standards for consent are arguably much stronger, and always have been, and yet, spicy communities are hunting grounds for predators, because they believe all spicy women are sluts. Predators have always used vulnerable communities as hunting grounds, but it's especially prevalent there.

bbockin :

I’ve heard all of these…from men and women.

Amber 🕷️🕸️🇵🇸 :

YES!!! About 10 years ago, I made a post on the True Off My Chest Reddit page about my trauma and deleted it within an hour because so many of the comments were “who the fuck are you surrounding yourself with”, etc. Blaming me because it happened more than once.

bubblesforever :

Not sure if this 100%, but if it isn’t, it’s damn close!

Kamila :

I told my ex, that him having sex with me while I was asleep after I told him multiple times before that I don't want that is rape this made him cry, I was happy he understood that but for me? it took me YEARS to understand that this WAS rape. I realized it and became suicidal. my mind knew, hence I told him he raped me, but my mind also knew that it will destroy me and protected myself from that until I was safe enough to process. I stayed with him for like a year or two. was raped, beaten and verbally abused over and over. but I excused it bc "he's my boyfriend, I love him" I get so angry at sexual violence now...

motherhac :

thank yoy Haley! youre depth of knowledge on abuse is robust! instant repost s

Advil Plz :

I think nearly all, I’m old- older anyways so I’ve had a lot of years in patriarchy

mari :

we can never be the perfect victim that others are looking for. They take our flaws & even some of our worst moments to justify what is being done to us.

FlyingKitty :

Blame the victim and entitlement. So sick of it!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dwarsdiedwarszit :

All.

bubblesforever :

Penny :

shawndraves :

Don't forget they aren't believed because of how they do or don't fight back. Either way, it's wrong. 🖤

nowamfound :

choose the bear and learn self defense

cappydeedee :

You forgot intoxication levels... "she was drinking so she got what she deserved. If she didn't drink around men maybe that wouldn't have happened" or that being drunk meant the rape didn't count as rape. I heard that one a lot in college 😞😠

bubblesforever :

Donna 🌙✨☀️ :

I am Jane Doe. VOTE 💙💙💙. This is a tipping point. Jane Doe from 2024 is a culmination of the multiple sexual assaults that happened every day on Cornell, & other campuses throughout the United States. Including sexual harassment and sexual assaults that happened in every institution in this country against women. It is SYSTEMIC. Jane Doe NEEDS to be the last of the Jane Does. ENOUGH. The midterm elections are in less than a month. SHOW up at the protests on campuses! SHOW up at the Indivisible Rallies in every city & towns in this Country on October 17th. SHOW up on NOVEMBER 3rd & VOTE 💙💙💙💙! Don't be silenced. Let your VOICE be heard. LOUDLY; shoulder to shoulder to protect each other in SOLIDARITY❣️VOTE 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙