ଘ៸៸᳐⦁⩊⦁៸៸᳐ଓ :
I don't ever want to get old, and be not able to do the things I love to do, and having to stop because I'm not able to enjoy them anymore, like this happens so frequently where I randomly because consciously aware that it's so inevitable that one day I will become old, my memory will deteriorate, my body wont be able to walk, run, jump like it used to, and I will be alone watching every younger person live their life laughing and walking so easily with their peers and lovers, creating new memories while mine fades away, and there's nothing I can absolutely do about it but watch in fear and jealousy that my time is over. it freaks me out so badly that one day everything I am will just cease to exist, I'm so jealous of the future I sometimes forget to live in the moment and it freaks me out so bad, omg I wish I was like a vampire or something, I don't want to be indestructible but immortal that way I can live forever and choose when I want to leave this earth.
2026-10-17 05:55:47