@2daddies2babies: Being tolerated doesn’t mean being loved. I often catch myself looking to be accepted by people or situations that likely won’t result in a “Bravo, you’re doing great.” So why do we do that? We grew up with the realization that the version of ourselves that seems the most genuine to us wouldn’t be tolerated by friends and family. And we started purging ourselves of all the traits that make us special and unique. As adults, going to dark places where we know we are just tolerated seems like the norm. Why? Because it feels familiar. After years of therapy, I’m finally learning how to create and get used to a new normal: situations where our needs and who we are can’t help but flourish. At first, these situations might feel unfamiliar and therefore create social anxiety. But they will ultimately become a healthier new normal. Our brain, in order to rewire, needs repetition. So next holiday or social gathering, choose people and places where you know you’re finally accepted and can be yourself without feeling castrated. And stop searching for approval from the people who will never see you for what you really are and love you as such. In short: choose you,

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2026-10-11 01:23:23

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