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Friday 09 October 2026 12:48:19 GMT
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“Why did you stay?” It’s one of the questions you hear so often as a survivor of domestic abuse. For a long time, my answer was simple. I stayed for them. I desperately wanted my family to stay together. I didn't want a broken family. I wanted my children to have their family, their home, their dad. What I didn't understand then was that sometimes, in trying so desperately to hold a family together, you're actually holding onto all the cracks  and eventually, those cracks start destroying you too. With ten years of separation and hindsight, I can see things I couldn't see then. My children were affected too. They were victims of the chaos, the instability and everything that came with living around abuse. I thought staying meant protecting them. Now I understand that sometimes leaving is protection too. You can't communicate with a perpetrator — not unless what you're saying is what they want to hear. And you can't keep repairing something when the other person is determined to keep breaking it. I didn't stay because I was weak. I stayed because I was desperately trying to keep my family together. Eventually, I had to realise that I couldn't save the family I had imagined without losing myself in the process. And sometimes walking away isn't breaking a family. Sometimes it's finally stopping the breaking. “Why did you stay?” It’s one of the questions you hear so often as a survivor of domestic abuse. For a long time, my answer was simple. I stayed for them. I desperately wanted my family to stay together. I didn't want a broken family. I wanted my children to have their family, their home, their dad. What I didn't understand then was that sometimes, in trying so desperately to hold a family together, you're actually holding onto all the cracks — and eventually, those cracks start destroying you too. With ten years of separation and hindsight, I can see things I couldn't see then. My children were affected too. They were victims of the chaos, the instability and everything that came with living around abuse. I thought staying meant protecting them. Now I understand that sometimes leaving is protection too. You can't communicate with a perpetrator — not unless what you're saying is what they want to hear. And you can't keep repairing something when the other person is determined to keep breaking it. I didn't stay because I was weak. I stayed because I was desperately trying to keep my family together. Eventually, I had to realise that I couldn't save the family I had imagined without losing myself in the process. And sometimes walking away isn't breaking a family. Sometimes it's finally stopping the breaking. #choosingmyself  #dvsurvivor💜  #reclaimingmylife #kateschaos  #youarenotalone
“Why did you stay?” It’s one of the questions you hear so often as a survivor of domestic abuse. For a long time, my answer was simple. I stayed for them. I desperately wanted my family to stay together. I didn't want a broken family. I wanted my children to have their family, their home, their dad. What I didn't understand then was that sometimes, in trying so desperately to hold a family together, you're actually holding onto all the cracks and eventually, those cracks start destroying you too. With ten years of separation and hindsight, I can see things I couldn't see then. My children were affected too. They were victims of the chaos, the instability and everything that came with living around abuse. I thought staying meant protecting them. Now I understand that sometimes leaving is protection too. You can't communicate with a perpetrator — not unless what you're saying is what they want to hear. And you can't keep repairing something when the other person is determined to keep breaking it. I didn't stay because I was weak. I stayed because I was desperately trying to keep my family together. Eventually, I had to realise that I couldn't save the family I had imagined without losing myself in the process. And sometimes walking away isn't breaking a family. Sometimes it's finally stopping the breaking. “Why did you stay?” It’s one of the questions you hear so often as a survivor of domestic abuse. For a long time, my answer was simple. I stayed for them. I desperately wanted my family to stay together. I didn't want a broken family. I wanted my children to have their family, their home, their dad. What I didn't understand then was that sometimes, in trying so desperately to hold a family together, you're actually holding onto all the cracks — and eventually, those cracks start destroying you too. With ten years of separation and hindsight, I can see things I couldn't see then. My children were affected too. They were victims of the chaos, the instability and everything that came with living around abuse. I thought staying meant protecting them. Now I understand that sometimes leaving is protection too. You can't communicate with a perpetrator — not unless what you're saying is what they want to hear. And you can't keep repairing something when the other person is determined to keep breaking it. I didn't stay because I was weak. I stayed because I was desperately trying to keep my family together. Eventually, I had to realise that I couldn't save the family I had imagined without losing myself in the process. And sometimes walking away isn't breaking a family. Sometimes it's finally stopping the breaking. #choosingmyself #dvsurvivor💜 #reclaimingmylife #kateschaos #youarenotalone

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