I started charging my 24-year-old daughter £350 a month to live at home. Last week, she told me she’d rather struggle in a tiny rented room than spend another night under my roof. My daughter, Olivia, finished university last year and moved back home while looking for a permanent job. At first, I was happy to have her back. I missed having her around, and I knew finding work wasn’t easy. But months passed, and although she had a part-time job, she wasn’t contributing anything to the household. I was paying the mortgage, food, electricity and everything else. Meanwhile, she was spending money on clothes, weekends away and meals with friends. Eventually, I sat her down and asked her to contribute £350 a month. I thought it was reasonable. She was earning, she had a bedroom, and she was eating food I’d paid for. She looked offended. “I’m trying to save money so I can move out.” I told her that saving money shouldn’t mean leaving all the bills to me. She agreed, but I could tell she wasn’t happy. The following month, she transferred the money without saying a word. After that, our relationship changed. She stopped eating dinner with us. She started buying her own groceries and spending most of her time in her room. Whenever I asked what was wrong, she’d say, “Nothing.” I thought she was being childish. Then, last Thursday, she came downstairs while I was watching television. “I’ve found somewhere to live,” she said. It was a room in a shared house. The rent was £650 a month, excluding bills. I asked why she would pay nearly twice as much to live with strangers. She replied, “Because at least there, I won’t feel like I’m being punished for trying to become independent.” I was stunned. I told her I wasn’t punishing her. I was teaching her responsibility. She shook her head. “No, Dad. You keep saying you want me to become an adult, but every time I make a decision you don’t agree with, you make me feel ungrateful.” I wanted to argue, but she continued. “You asked me for rent. I paid it. But now you question where I go, what I buy and why I’m not saving faster. It feels like I’m paying you to keep treating me like a child.” That hit a nerve because I knew there was some truth in it. I’d started checking whether she was home before going to bed. I’d made comments about her shopping. I’d even asked why she’d bought takeaway when there was food in the fridge. I told myself it was because I cared. Perhaps some of it was because I wasn’t ready to accept that she no longer needed my permission. She moved out two weeks later. The house felt strangely empty. My wife thinks I should have charged her less and given her more time. My brother says I did the right thing and that young adults need to learn how expensive life really is. Olivia still visits, but she doesn’t stay long. I haven’t asked her to come home. Part of me believes I was right to expect a contribution. Another part wonders whether I turned a reasonable boundary into a battle over control. I never wanted money from my daughter more than I wanted her to feel welcome in her own home. But perhaps she stopped feeling welcome long before she packed her bags. So, tell me honestly: should adult children living at home pay rent if they’re earning, or should parents help them save for their own place while they can? - @tellyourstories0