Matthias J Barker
Region: US
Tuesday 13 October 2026 15:06:19 GMT
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JennyB5689 :
Dad’s a buddy, mom is a parent. There’s nothing harder to do than parenting.
2026-10-13 17:16:40
150
GEM305💨💎 :
It’s called. Dad doesn’t hold me accountable for anything. Mom expects me to be accountable and take responsibility for my actions and choices.
2026-10-13 17:43:20
33
SJ :
If your dad wasn't in the picture as much as you wanted him to be growing up but he is now and you have a good relationship with him now.... 95% of the time it isn't because he didn't care or was a bad person. It's because your mom kept him away to hurt him. Regardless of how it affected you, her child, hurting him was more important.
2026-10-13 17:16:25
28
89Mustang0 :
Sometimes it’s the dad that gets cutoff because mom is the narcissist.
2026-10-13 18:18:31
18
a voice in the void :
Maybe the kiddo is reaching for the estranged/alienated parent to fill that missing part in their life. 🤔
2026-10-26 05:32:15
0
SheMcMas :
Because we taught our kids how to navigate his crazy. Mom destroyed herself to make sure everyone was ok. Plus.. remember coercive control 😞. I defended my kids. I made sure he couldn’t hurt them. It is what it is. I just want my kids to be happy. If that means it doesn’t involve me then… that is what it has to be. 💞
2026-10-13 16:53:03
39
Stephanie Hill :
My 9 year old son argues with me and fights back with me because he feels safe to do so. He tries really hard to just keep the peace and have a fun time with his dad because his dad isn’t as much of a safe space. He is able to verbalize this. He would never tell his dad.
2026-10-13 18:35:17
12
guavagirl808 :
This is really hard to admit, but if I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't have sacrificed as much or invested as much. I wouldn't have put them first all (or most) of the time. I used to think protecting them from childhood trauma was the most important thing - was a big proponent of nurture, but it seems more like they all grow up with some good parts and some not so good parts. I'm not sure they'd be any more or less emotionally stable if I had of stayed, invested less, cared less, done it completely different. They'd still have struggles and relationship stuff and benefit from therapy. They'd still have shiny parts and problem parts, they'd just be different ones. I'd take care of myself more.
2026-10-14 16:57:12
3
The_Truth_Hurts_Pumpkin :
This might hold true in some scenarios where the dad had an issue with addiction, but this is far from true as a whole.
2026-10-13 16:57:18
0
Okay 👍 :
Mom requires accountability and responsibility because we want the best for the kids. Estranged dads require nothing because they have no vested interest.
2026-10-14 13:22:31
2
Ricky :
a lot of the times the mother tries to compete with their daughter. they get jealous if the daughter is having a better life than what they had when they were you get. I've seen it several times. A lot of the good dads out there what their daughters to do and be better than them.
2026-10-14 01:34:52
0
rensregeneration :
Reading these comments, I am starting to think I should have given less to my kids and worried about them less. Maybe all that devotion and protection was good and they needed it. Maybe they would have been just fine without it and I would have had a better life and me having a better life would have made their lives better.
2026-10-14 08:14:23
4
Shana Ledger :
Or the child wanted a relationship so badly that they refuse to let themselves see the truth and are willing to push the healthy parent away at any cost to have what they wanted for so long.
2026-10-13 17:25:52
4
milehighred :
Dad walked away and blamed mom
2026-10-14 23:03:45
1
Naysayer Queen :
My mom definitely did more. But I often left our phone conversations feeling worse about myself. My dad was definitely more fun but it was basically because he was an alcoholic. Once I saw that I realized why my mom was so not fun. Someone had to be the adult.
2026-10-13 17:31:40
3
nicholechamps :
As a mother who devoted her entire being into motherhood as her chosen career and life this was the most heartbreaking part of the divorce.
2026-10-14 01:15:43
4
JessicaMarie :
this answers so much. I needed to hear this. This is my son. Thank you for explaining. [Heartwarming]
2026-10-15 03:53:34
1
Mama Z :
Dang. That hurts. Accurate though.
2026-10-13 17:04:18
5
Strong Speaking Owl :
That is completely effed up. Its easier? How about they learn how to have a full relationship complexity and all?
2026-10-13 16:26:02
5
Alecs Grey :
There’s another piece to this puzzle: parental alienation, particularly in high-conflict custody cases. Some children grow up believing false narratives about their fathers, only to discover the truth later and distance themselves from their mothers. Psychological and emotional abuse can come from either parent, yet family courts don’t always recognize it. This deserves far more attention in the discussion.
2026-10-14 01:25:02
1
Jenny Dee 💭 :
Very interesting. Thanks for this perspective
2026-10-14 12:26:46
1
mikebushue :
I see a lot of his fault her fault comments. And sometimes that is true. But in reality, generally speaking, it's just two different parenting approaches. Both approaches are equally important. Often times it's a matter of stop competing and let mom's mom and dad's dad.
2026-10-14 09:04:55
1
Natalie :
This is exactly what happened to me. I knew it was because dad is easier.
2026-10-13 17:19:19
0
Jessica Bay :
6% here. mom was done parenting/grandparenting after my dad died. She speaks to my brother only. ignores my sister and I and our kids.
2026-10-13 17:31:20
1
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