Breanna combs :
I was groomed by my dad’s best friend, a man who had been in my life since I was a little girl. He was someone I grew up knowing and someone I thought cared about me. My parents were drug addicts, and there were times when we barely had enough money to eat. He would offer to buy me things or help me get what I needed, but eventually, that help came with a price. He used my situation against me and made me feel like I had to let him do things to me in exchange for the things I needed. When I turned 16, he started touching me.
It has messed me up in ways I still struggle to explain. I carry so much guilt and shame, even though I know I was a child and none of it was my fault. I was in a relationship at the time, and sometimes I feel guilty about things I didn’t know how to handle. I said no, but my no meant nothing to him. I was a kid. I didn’t know what to do, how to get out of the situation, or how to process what was happening to me.
One of the hardest parts is dealing with so many conflicting emotions. I’m angry at him for what he did to me, but I also struggle because he helped me financially at times when my family couldn’t. Part of me feels guilty for even acknowledging that he helped me, as if that somehow makes what he did less terrible. It doesn’t. I can recognize the help he gave me while still knowing that he abused my trust and took advantage of me when I was vulnerable.
Finding out I wasn’t the first person he did this to made everything even worse. He was a sex offender, and it makes me sick knowing that the justice system allowed him to continue living his life while I’m still left trying to put the pieces of mine back together. Sometimes it feels like I’ll never get the justice I deserve, and that is such a painful thing to live with.
I carry so much anger, sadness, shame, and hurt. Some days, I don’t even know what to do with all these emotions. I wish people understood that surviving something like this doesn’t mean you just get over it. It follows you. It affects how you see yourself, how you trust people, and how you look back on your childhood.
That’s why music means so much to me. Sometimes, you hear a song and it puts into words.
2026-10-14 16:50:33