@showme811: ABANDONED ME AND MY YOUNGER BROTHER AS A CHILD THATS WHY WE WAS IN FOSTER CARE AND I RAN AWAY FROM HOME AS A CHILD BECAUSE I FELT LIKE I WASN'T LOVED . I WOULD NEVER ABANDON MY CHILD FOR WHATEVER THE REASON MAYBE . MY MOTHER DIDNT THINK I WOULD BE SUCCESSFUL IN LIFE AND THAT GAVE ME MOTIVATION TO PROVE NOT JUST HER WRONG BUT EVERYONE WHO DOUTED ME. THATS WHY I CHOOSE THE PATH TO ALWAYS LOVE OTHERS BECAUSE I NEVER WANTED ANYONE TO EVER FEEL LIKE HOW I FELT GROWING UP NOT LOVED . ANOTHER REASON I SHOW UP AND TRY TO HELP OTHERS WHEN I CAN IF THERE NOT TAKING ADVANTAGE OF ME . I ALSO TRY TO BRIGHTEN OTHERS DAY DOING NICE THINGS LIKE WASHING THERE CAR OR GETTING EVERYONE STARBUCKS OR LUNCH OR WHATEVER THEY WANT . I LIKE DOING THINGS PEOPLE WOULDNT THINK I WOULD DO FOR OTHERS AND LIKE TO BE DIFFERENT. YEAH YOU CHOOSE LUST OVER LOVE AND YOU DONT WANT TO BE THERE BUT YOU MADE THAT CHOICE BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT IT WAS BETTER THAN ME AND YOU NEVER REALLY GAVE ME A CHANCE YOU JUST THREW ME LIKE I WAS TRASH AND DIDNT MEAN SHIT TOO YOU . YOU ECCUSED ME OF THINGS I NEVER DID JUST BECAUSE YOUVE BEEN HURT IN YOUR PAST THAT DONT MEAN EVERYONE IS GOING TO HURT YOU . WHEN I MEET YOU I WASNT EVEN THINKING ABOUT LOVE I THOUGHT YOU WAS COOL ASF COOL PEOPLE TO HANG OUT WITH . WHEN I FOUND OUT YOUR EX WASNT ROMANTIC THATS WHEN I KNEW WHAT YOU MENT TOO ME . SO I WANTED YOU TOO BE THE ONLY WOMAN THAT I GAVE THE MOST ROSES TOO IN MY LIFE . I DIDNT THINK YOU WOULD OF GAVE ME A CHANCE BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU WAS OUT OF MY LEAGUE BUT I SAID FUCK IT I DIDN'T WANT TO REGRET NOT TRYING . I KNEW I DIDNT NEED YOU FINANCIALLY I JUST WANTED YOU FOR YOU SOMEONE TO DO LIFE TOGETHER WITH MY BEST FRIEND NOT JUST MY LOVER. SO THE ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION YOU DID HURT ME BUT I ALLOWED IT SO ITS MY FAULT . I CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP EVERYDAY ASKING GOD WHY CANT I JUST HAVE SOMEONE TO LOVE ME FOR ME SOMEONE REAL . IM STARTING TO THINK I DONT DESERVE LOVE OR EVER GETTING MARRIED . I HATE MY LIFE SOMETIMES THATS WHY I WORK AS MUCH AS I DO TO HELP NOT THINK ABOUT IT. SO OPENING UP TO SOMEONE BEING VULNERABLE ISNT EASY BECAUSE YEAH YOU CAN GET HURT BECAUSE IF THE OTHER PERSON DONT FEEL THE SAME WAY YOU FEEL IT SUCKS . NO I WOULD NEVER CONTROL YOU IF YOU TOLD ME HOW YOU FEEL . I WANTED ALL OF YOU NOT IN A CONTROLLING WAY . ITS NICE BEING SINGLE BUT I WANT SOMEONE TO HOLD SOMEONE TO DO THINGS WITH SOMEONE TO JUST TALK TOO AND TELL THEM ABOUT MY DAY . IM TRYING NOT TO CRY WRITTING THIS SOMETIMES ITS NICE TO VENT AND GET.THUNGS OFF YOUR CHEST BEEN HOLDING IT INSIDE FOR SO LONG . NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS ILL NEVER FORGET YOU AND.YOULL ALWAYS BE MY SOULMATE I LOVE YOU XOXO I JUST WANT YOU HAPPY THATS ALL I EVER WANTED FOR YOU . I DID MY BEST TO SHOW YOU I WAS REAL AND SHOWED YOU WHAT REAL LOVE IS SUSPOSE TO FEEL LIKE . I COULD NEVER BE MAD AT YOU FOR HOW YOU TREATED ME BECAUSE ONE YOU WASNT HEALED TO YOU WASNT BEING YOUR REAL SELF AND IF GOD CAN FORGIVE US WHY CANT I FORGIVE YOU WERE NOT PERFECT WERE ONLY HUMAN . ANYWAYS GOT TO GET SOME WORK DONE TALK LATER AND THE ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION WOULD I GIVE YOU ANOTHER CHANCE YES I'LL BE WAITING FOR YOU WHEN YOUR READY I HAVE PATIENCE TALK LATER SORRY FOR GETTING IN MY FEELINGS ITS HARD SOMEDAYS LATER
