One of the odder truths about love is that plenty of people, given the actual chance of it, find a way to ruin it almost immediately, and rarely on purpose. The vulnerability real love asks for can feel more dangerous than any of the pain that came before it. Most of us have had far more practice at being disappointed, or alone, or braced for the worst, than at actually letting ourselves be happy. Being hopeful is a skill most people never properly got to build. There's an old story worth borrowing here, Adam and Eve in paradise, undone not by an outside villain but by their own difficulty tolerating a life with nothing left to struggle against. Most of us are drawn to that same paradise while working, in small ways, to make sure we never actually arrive. How to apply this to your own life: Notice the exact moment things start going well with someone, a good date, an easy weekend, a kind message, and watch for the small habit that follows it. Picking a fight over nothing. Suddenly finding a flaw that wasn't a problem last week. Going cold right when they get warm. None of that has to mean the relationship is wrong. It's worth asking, honestly, whether the discomfort is coming from them, or from how unfamiliar it feels to simply have something good and not immediately need to test it. Follow us for more useful ideas, every day. - @theschooloflife