bad2thescone
Region: US
Wednesday 14 October 2026 17:19:58 GMT
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Wilson :
oh it was our mom's they were constantly externalizing and requiring us to manage their emotional state by constantly checking in to make sure that things were done their way and that anything that wasn't exactly their way was likely to lead to them blowing up. so half of us became anxious people pleasers and the other half became avoidant. one half of us came to believe that we were going to have a good day if we could manage the emotional state of a woman and the other half gave up on the idea and just viewed anything dealing with emotions as unsafe have fun out there
2026-10-15 12:38:32
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tonyfischer :
Sorry, people learn this when they execute the task and then there’s a complaint that the task was done wrong. This teaches someone that their effort is less important than the execution. To take the apples example, if the list says “apples” and the person buys a bag of Gala apples because they were on sale, and they come back there’s complaining that they wanted Fuji apples and how do you not know we always get Fuji apples, the apple buyer is going to learn that their intellect and effort is less important than perfect execution. It’s simple, there’s no mystery to this. Finally if you want to claim that there is a mental load that can be shared or transferred, and that you believe your partner needs to transfer the mental load to themselves for you to be happy with their actions, you are saying that your partner needs to do more work for you than you are willing to do for them. To say again, if a mental load is able to be transferred it is not intrinsic to one gender and therefore it’s just work any adult needs to do as an adult.
2026-10-15 11:27:45
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Marquis Patrick :
As someone who used to do this, I just tell myself as long as I’m giving an honest effort people would prefer the results turn out poorly and we correct from there as long as they don’t have to think about it. It’s definitely an anxiety/self trust thing. The mental load thing is very alien to most men and it took a lot of of intentionally trying to learn about it to figure it out for me
2026-10-15 09:13:42
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birdsotrey :
terrified of rejection
2026-10-15 11:23:44
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Cheeseburger :
Okay, so what's a real world example? Since this apple example is obviously not a real world example. I'm trying to wrap my head around a situation where this would actually occur other than dressing. I really can't think of one.
2026-10-15 01:00:38
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taylordtrendz :
Also honeycrisp always
2026-10-14 17:52:25
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allthefallenfigs :
Anxious attachment?
2026-10-14 21:02:24
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Theboys :
You described it so well. It was despite all my efforts to make her happy nothing I did was right. “Why did you get Granny Smith?”. So I questioned every decision
2026-10-14 17:39:26
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its adilinn :
Thank you bro
2026-10-14 18:09:26
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benny 가디언베니 ☁️ 🦌 :
its literally just empathy and men having the sense that women most likely have a preference or opinion on things since I as a man do as well. with the added sense that women seem more finicky so men don't want to pick or do something you wont agree with. no decent guy wants to feel like he is steamrolling a girl he likes, take away from her autonomy
2026-10-15 04:35:46
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taylordtrendz :
Send this to rebel
2026-10-14 17:50:09
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.random9996363 :
There are hundreds of women on this app telling man the opposite. That men are too controlling. Your advice works only for feminine women that want to be led. Which is a tiny fraction of the female population.
2026-10-14 23:39:10
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