@msdanielledonofrio: Take their behavior at face value and move in accordance with today’s reality. They’re not going to change just because you figured things out for them, and you’re not going to feel better about how poorly they treat you just because you may have some insight into why. When we focus on the internal workings of other people’s lives, we are neglecting the internal workings of our own. Such misdirected focus means everyone stays stuck, because no one ever changes because someone else wants them to. We can only change ourselves. That parent who can’t get their act together, the sibling with the alcohol problem, and the friend who finds herself in one toxic relationship after another—they’re on their own journey. Love them. Express your concern once. Then, decide which boundaries you need to protect your life and wellbeing from their poor choices and lack of emotional intelligence. The codependent urge to fix and rescue is strong when that’s how we learned to survive a dysfunctional upbringing. We are just so used to finding love and connection through being something for other people. In my experience, though, codependency isn’t hard to heal if you’re ready for the change. The first step is understanding the behaviors that fall under the codependency umbrella. Then, we resolve the wounds that drive those behaviors through the practice of setting boundaries with ourselves and others. I teach women exactly what I did to heal codependency and rebuild my life after dysfunctional family trauma in my book on Substack. The Restorative Lifestyle Method: 4 Steps to Trauma-Informed Holistic Healing + Empowerment for Adult Daughters of Dysfunctional Families Coaching is also available. Link in bio. #dysfunctionalfamily #codependency #codependencyrecovery #boundaries #toxicrelationship

Danielle D’Onofrio

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Wednesday 14 October 2026 21:00:53 GMT