onlyfleshandbone :
This really hit home. After 30 years of marriage, I can now see how, in my attempt to be a good husband and father, I put everyone else’s needs before my own. I worked extraordinarily long hours to provide the things I thought would make my family happy, believing that being a good provider was what mattered most. I kept the peace, held back my own needs and opinions, and thought I was doing the right thing. Looking back, I realise I was slowly losing myself. Perhaps, without even recognising it, I was trying to earn respect through what I provided rather than simply being present as myself. In doing so, I neglected my own needs and probably buried a lot of resentment along the way. This is a real lightbulb moment for me. I had begun to recognise these patterns, but you’ve articulated something I’ve struggled to put into words. I’ve learned that being a good man doesn’t mean keeping everyone else happy at the expense of yourself. You can be kind and considerate without abandoning who you are. I’m now in a new relationship, learning to express my needs, stand my ground and be more authentic. And interestingly, that feels much healthier.
It’s never easy to look back and recognise these things, but perhaps the greatest lesson is that it’s never too late to change. Thank you for putting into words what I’ve taken a long time to understand. Thank you 🙏
2026-10-15 08:00:23