@ff991c: do you guys think i’m 23 or 16 earlier i was whispering awful words to myself, cursing you and all else.. for leaving me so abandoned, so half empty. but i suppose i’m not even half empty or half full, am i not just empty? your lips quirk up into this strange little smile, and i want to kiss you but i’m scared, and one time you looked at me and you asked me why i never kiss you first, then another time you asked why i pull back so fast after kissing you. i’m scared, that’s why. do you feel the tremble of my heart everytime someone says your name? you should feel it, you should feel this ache i have. you should feel how much i want you close. i drank this shitty unflavored vodka, & i could only think about you.. and how much you love vodka that way.. though i never understood why. but i suppose i never understand why with you, but i want to, do you see that? i love you, most of the time, i think i really do honestly love you. but i am miserable, and i am scared i always will be. why did i have to be so frightened, so afraid, like i’m never not cornered? i just want to sleep in your bed, i want you to kiss me before falling asleep and i want it to be an honest kiss, i want you to say it outloud and like you mean it, i want you to say you love me and that you want to be with me. but what is want besides a desperate prayer to a god you don’t believe in & you never will? you are god to me i love you, but don’t say it back, it won’t be true

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Thursday 15 October 2026 07:44:12 GMT