The Onion
Region: US
Thursday 15 October 2026 17:41:01 GMT
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Quinn Z :
I went "Oh that's terrible!" to "They're setting this story up like a math problem." to "Oh, it's the Onion"
2026-10-15 19:01:07
4442
Too too too knighted :
individually or in small groups 😭😭
2026-10-15 18:10:49
2087
F&F Hollywood Drift Glazer :
Dead ass thought this was real
2026-10-15 19:09:00
802
Spaceballs ༽ :
My 6th grade teacher prepared me for this day. 🦸♂️
2026-10-15 18:32:43
834
koleacove :
did they account for the time zone change?🤔
2026-10-15 19:25:47
650
AtheistReagan 🇺🇸 🥓 :
This sounds like a math problem, therefore I’m out
2026-10-15 18:07:35
4758
radioactivefiestaware :
I had to rewatch after I got distracted by "Yellowstone euthanizes bison who knew too much"
2026-10-15 18:47:21
207
karina :
This is pure unadulterated onion
2026-10-15 17:49:57
1238
user :
I laughed out loud when he said "is that tomorrow?"
2026-10-15 19:05:48
174
trianojcusi :
Ok but are calculators allowed 🤨
2026-10-15 18:36:52
286
deadairspace :
top tier comedy right here btw
2026-10-15 21:44:50
1
His glorious eyes. :
Yea? But how many apples does Jake have left?
2026-10-15 18:14:49
132
snaildork :
I'm screaming I thought this was real until he started listing possible times
2026-10-15 22:07:07
0
RachelJade70 :
“Or D: none of the above” 😂
2026-10-15 22:04:26
0
JAK𖣂 :
D. None of the above
2026-10-15 22:04:33
0
wez ⨷ :
Only if people teach us how to calculate that
2026-10-15 17:48:24
646
memugking :
what about wind resistance? had a professor who always added variables like that to basic DRT problems and made us look like morons in a college algebra class
2026-10-15 22:04:10
0
Krism :
Bruh I was tweaking until I saw this was the onion lol
2026-10-15 17:47:44
236
AlexDude :
Including the trolley moral dilemma at the end was the icing I loved.
2026-10-15 19:34:55
19
todd :
I had to cancel my thoughts and prayers half way through the post.
2026-10-15 20:01:20
15
banyan :
Took me so long to realize. Glad to see y’all are back at it again!
2026-10-15 18:13:32
101
ccdahlgren :
d. none of the above
2026-10-15 18:39:23
44
Gwyn 🔻 :
"it is either one of these answers, or none of them" this is so funny
2026-10-15 18:43:32
9
Noodle_Cat 🦦 :
The apples are extra credit lol
2026-10-15 19:20:52
5
Roxxyyy :
When you do your math homework on the death note
2026-10-15 18:21:04
10
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