Landon | The Identity Coach
Region: US
Friday 16 October 2026 13:30:58 GMT
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ellynisnotokay :
I deal with this A LOT and he often follows it with “well I choose not to bring it up because I’m trying to keep the peace” I always just say “I’m sorry you lack the skills to advocate for yourself in the moment but I don’t. We are talking about the issues that I have with YOUR behavior. If you want to talk about my behavior we can have a separate conversation about that, but I suggest you address it when you bothers you instead of using it to justify your shitty behavior.”
2026-10-16 19:22:37
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T KELLAH ❌ :
its deflection
2026-10-22 07:54:51
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💜Gen ❌ Amy V💜 :
I didn’t realize this pattern until it was too late. I spent so much time apologizing for my reactions that he never once had to be accountable. 💜💜💜
2026-10-16 14:36:30
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rightorhappy :
oh and then saying "were not talking about me, I'm talking about this thing that you did" and you get the response "we never talk about you because you can't take accountability for anything"
2026-10-16 14:26:44
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giveathought :
If I had a man that could communicate and express himself even half as well as you do, I would be the happiest partner on the planet. I have rarely if ever heard from a man that is not only emotionally intelligent, but very well spoken and creative in their descriptions. I guess layered intelligence is very attractive. Plus, a person that has both logic and emotional capacity at the same time creates such a nice balance because typically men speak with one or the other or neither. Maybe being that I am an INFJI can balance both logic and motion at the same time and maybe that’s just a quality that’s hard to find in humans in general, however, I think that most men could not get near this level of understanding of the human condition. Anyways, love your videos thank you for sharing your mind with us.
2026-10-16 18:29:15
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Mel.Bell :
I always disclose in the beginning - If I do something wrong, or something that bothers you, then bring it up at max same day. And more so, do not use it as an excuse to deflect or as a distraction from taking responsibility. And my exact reaction when they do-
2026-10-16 17:28:37
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🌙 ✨Moondreamer✨🌙 :
Sighed too hard on a Tuesday is so accurate 😂
2026-10-16 20:39:04
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Wynter :
I ALWAYS say "well if you have a problem with something I do, say it to me like Im trying to do now!" but I left him so im not sure it matters anymore 😅
2026-10-16 14:30:16
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oops, shadow banned :
I answered that with "okay, and if you have a problem with my behavior we can talk about it at another time but since you chose not to bring it up and I chose to bring up the issue with your behavior that is what we're talking about right now" amazingly, their issues with my behavior never came up again...like magic.
2026-10-21 08:38:21
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Stevie-Builds from home :
Yes!!!! I said I feel like me and our daughter get ignored often for his phone and I’d like his presence, he said “well you use your phone too, I’m allowed to touch my phone” and then we used screen time and I had more time because I stay up all night to get my free time and he only uses his when he’s supposed to be home and present. He refuses to bring up anything except to deflect things I bring up
2026-10-16 17:11:50
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D :
every 👏 damn 👏 time
2026-10-17 02:19:40
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KT ♡ :
Whew. That last line HIT 🫶🏼
2026-10-18 23:32:01
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💜Michelle💜 :
What about when they defensive about literally anything you bring up?? It could be the simplest of things.. it’s exhausting!
2026-10-17 17:27:28
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bunz404x :
If it bothered them they should have said something and not wait until i noticed the behavior on his end and said something
2026-10-16 18:43:33
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Yellow Tamburine ✨️ :
oh, oh, do the one where you finally ask, exhausted from the emotional overfunctioning; "is there any point in us continuing?" and he responds "well, you tell me, you're the one always coming up with a problem" 🙄
2026-10-19 10:53:01
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The Wandering :
I can’t argue with this. Once again, well done!
2026-10-17 13:52:06
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Lunchtime Learns :
Good lord yes
2026-10-16 21:18:41
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rightorhappy :
why didn't it bother you when I did it until I brought up something you did that bothered me? if it really bothered you it would bother you on its own merit, otherwise you're score keeping.
2026-10-16 14:25:05
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Betsy :
I just did that with my exhusband and he gloriously turned it back on me 🤣
2026-10-16 20:21:30
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D :
My partner is always saying you do the same thing 🥴
2026-10-16 17:08:19
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Username Xo :
How do you redirect to focus on the concerns you brought up when this happens?
2026-10-16 23:07:52
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ziggy2222 :
Wow, how did you get so insightful and on point?
2026-10-16 17:15:21
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Manda Royer :
You just got the nail on the head!! Thank you for putting that in to words that I couldn’t come up with! 🙌🏼
2026-10-16 16:23:18
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1mfriend :
Don’t fall for defending yourself when addressing his behavior.
2026-10-16 16:11:18
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AppalachianRose77 :
OMG!!! I bring up something & it can be hey ya didn't take the trash out like I asked. His response will be but ya talk to xxx. Ummm what?!? (xxx is an x that we are both friends with & xxx regularly checks in with both of us, usually only on his phone though. Xxx was also just in a bad work accident & he was the one calling & checking in multiple times a day. When xxx does reach out to just me, I tell him instantly. Which I don't have to cause Im not that person but Ik it could be perceived as keeping a secret) I'm just always so confused how that response to everything I say or ask is even the only response he can do. Recently when he responses with this I'll say you're 50 not 12, if ya wanna act like a child ya just need to go on bout your business cause I'm not a pedophile.
2026-10-17 22:00:03
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