@theserialintellectual: You already argue with the loud voices, like the critic, the comparison and the one you can name. The voice you never challenge is the one that sounds like common sense, so it steers your decisions without a fight. "Be realistic." "Don't rock the boat." "That's just who I am." Those lines feel like wisdom, and they may be costing you the most. The next time you hear one, stop and ask where you learned it and whether it's actually true. Then ask someone who knows you well to tell you what they see.