@theserialintellectual: Some of the most influential voices in your life belong to people who left it long ago. A parent, a teacher, an ex, a pastor. You still take direction from them, and they no longer know you. That is a lot of authority to hand to someone who isn't in the room. You can change who gets a vote. Pick one of those voices and say out loud, "You don't get to define me anymore." Then do one thing today that they would have told you not to do.