@upspiral.life: 7 things happy couples never fight about. If you and your partner keep arguing over these, you can let them go. Follow me then message me UPSPIRAL and I'll send you more information about my programs. You can also click the link in my bio. Quick reality check, my guy. Most of what couples fight about never gets solved. Relationship researcher John Gottman found that about 69 percent of relationship conflict is perpetual. It comes from personality differences. It shows up in year one and it's still sitting there in year twenty. So the social battery thing. The hobbies. One of you processes out loud and the other one goes quiet. The spoon. Fourteen years of the spoon, bro. At some point you either keep relitigating it or you accept that this is who you married. Constant correction lands in your partner's nervous system as threat. Threat brings defensiveness. Defensiveness wipes out the safety that closeness actually needs. Gottman lists criticism as one of his Four Horsemen, the patterns that best predict a relationship ending. Stop treating your partner like a renovation project. Put the clipboard down. You're still under construction too. #UpSpiralLife #RelationshipAdvice #HealthyRelationships #MarriageAdvice #CouplesGoals
