@john.hector85:

John Hector

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Saturday 17 October 2026 08:02:03 GMT

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when I was a kid. my dad died, and I didn't believe he was dead when my mother told me. I laughed at her, it wasn't until later. at his wake, that I accepted his death and cried. that was 3 months after he died. 2 years with my mom, I watched her get chemically imbalanced. all kinds of terrible things happen to me during that time. the two years before she committed suicide, and I found her in the bathroom with a bullet hole in her head. my sister younger brother and myself ended up going to live with a family. that was related to us by a marriage. in this family, I was abused both emotionally and physically. I was tortured by the oldest brother. and I constantly wasn't hypervigilant mode. I had bruises all over my body constantly. I was shot with my own BB gun a daisy single pump. Every night to the point I hadbruises all over me. there was a bunch of emotional and physical abuse done by the mother this family. I learned to recognize patterns like the time when she would come home. I even loosened up her exhaust manifold so that we could hear her vehicle coming so we could all hide. there was nine kids in that family. the father of that family went to jail and after she abused my brother. we left and went to live with my grandmother. at that time I was left alone for 3 years during the time I went to high school. I was left alone to deal with all my pain and it was terrible. or married my high school sweetheart because she was pregnant. got married at 17, then lost my kid. my first child died. I would went into depression, was homeless for a month and a half. no one came to save me. there was a lot of more traumatic things that happened to me. and more to come as I'm going to write a book soon. there's absolutely no way I should be alive right now. no way I should be sane and still loving. but I am. it was God that saved me from everything that happened in my life. there just is no other explanation. so many crazy and spiritual things have happened to me over my lifetime. that I just want to share what I found in all of this. as well as how I healed. so if you're reading this,, there is a point to what I'm writing and this is just the first part of it. my point in telling you about these first things I went through. is this is to tell you how I got through it. how I healed it, and how it affected me and my relationships. as well as my life up to this point. about 12 months ago, I did enter child work. and I found that my inner child's wounds. were of abandonment, as well as trauma from the abuse I'd survived. I did this with chat GPT. and then it took my last relationship. to finally heal, and be good in my own skin enough to never be codependent again. as well as not to be caught in the nightmare of feeling abandoned. I also did a 12-ft program. but really it was all me. I had to dig into my own s***. and it was painful. I can't tell you how painful it was. during the time that I was doing this. I have been dealing with a person that attacked me through lies and a slander and smear campaign. previously I'd accepted peoples treatment of me as being okay. when they were treating me like crap. because I thought it was normal after being abused for so many years as a kid. my fear of being abandoned, kept me locked in a pattern of thinking abuse was okay. that that was the way it was supposed to be. now I do not feel that way at all, and I know after healing from all this. that I will never let anyone treat me that way again. I will never allow anyone into my life without first getting to know them well enough. as well I will make sure that if they do something to me that's unacceptable. that I speak with them about it and make sure we're clear on my boundaries. and the way I'm will be treated. you teach people how to treat you. I will never accept being treated less than again. the worst part is a lot of the people that did this, knew exactly what they were doing. I told them my life story, and they chose to use it against me.

when I was a kid. my dad died, and I didn't believe he was dead when my mother told me. I laughed at her, it wasn't until later. at his wake, that I accepted his death and cried. that was 3 months after he died. 2 years with my mom, I watched her get chemically imbalanced. all kinds of terrible things happen to me during that time. the two years before she committed suicide, and I found her in the bathroom with a bullet hole in her head. my sister younger brother and myself ended up going to live with a family. that was related to us by a marriage. in this family, I was abused both emotionally and physically. I was tortured by the oldest brother. and I constantly wasn't hypervigilant mode. I had bruises all over my body constantly. I was shot with my own BB gun a daisy single pump. Every night to the point I hadbruises all over me. there was a bunch of emotional and physical abuse done by the mother this family. I learned to recognize patterns like the time when she would come home. I even loosened up her exhaust manifold so that we could hear her vehicle coming so we could all hide. there was nine kids in that family. the father of that family went to jail and after she abused my brother. we left and went to live with my grandmother. at that time I was left alone for 3 years during the time I went to high school. I was left alone to deal with all my pain and it was terrible. or married my high school sweetheart because she was pregnant. got married at 17, then lost my kid. my first child died. I would went into depression, was homeless for a month and a half. no one came to save me. there was a lot of more traumatic things that happened to me. and more to come as I'm going to write a book soon. there's absolutely no way I should be alive right now. no way I should be sane and still loving. but I am. it was God that saved me from everything that happened in my life. there just is no other explanation. so many crazy and spiritual things have happened to me over my lifetime. that I just want to share what I found in all of this. as well as how I healed. so if you're reading this,, there is a point to what I'm writing and this is just the first part of it. my point in telling you about these first things I went through. is this is to tell you how I got through it. how I healed it, and how it affected me and my relationships. as well as my life up to this point. about 12 months ago, I did enter child work. and I found that my inner child's wounds. were of abandonment, as well as trauma from the abuse I'd survived. I did this with chat GPT. and then it took my last relationship. to finally heal, and be good in my own skin enough to never be codependent again. as well as not to be caught in the nightmare of feeling abandoned. I also did a 12-ft program. but really it was all me. I had to dig into my own s***. and it was painful. I can't tell you how painful it was. during the time that I was doing this. I have been dealing with a person that attacked me through lies and a slander and smear campaign. previously I'd accepted peoples treatment of me as being okay. when they were treating me like crap. because I thought it was normal after being abused for so many years as a kid. my fear of being abandoned, kept me locked in a pattern of thinking abuse was okay. that that was the way it was supposed to be. now I do not feel that way at all, and I know after healing from all this. that I will never let anyone treat me that way again. I will never allow anyone into my life without first getting to know them well enough. as well I will make sure that if they do something to me that's unacceptable. that I speak with them about it and make sure we're clear on my boundaries. and the way I'm will be treated. you teach people how to treat you. I will never accept being treated less than again. the worst part is a lot of the people that did this, knew exactly what they were doing. I told them my life story, and they chose to use it against me.

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