Jesse Langley :
A blur, the derealization hits, just an endless blurr, gloomy downcast thoughts slow play as if in a reel, everything you used to love is simply uninteresting, I mean the idea is there, the thought it may be fun is there, but the motivation isn't... before you know it a weeks gone by...not to mention the unsettling pressure of knowing your falling behind, failing the people who depend on you, what you knew you needed to make progress on today...you didn't... it's been this way for almost a year now...."have I lost my mind", "is this it for me", "what happens next", "what if".....what many fail to see....
within the flight or flight instinct, the irrational lashing out, the snappy reactions, the mood shift, is our "final stand", because mentally our world is falling apart, mentally we're wounded, exhausted, we're embarrassed, frustrated at ourselves, even the smallest unplanned interruption or unexpected inconvenience sends us off the rails, and before we know it.... it's said the damage is done.... sadly most of us don't have the support system with the "understanding".... amongst the chaos and the aftermath.... it's difficult to even recall everything we said in the moment, because the moment wasn't truly our own.... we sit in silence retracing every word, every perception, reaction, only now everything is open to scrutiny, overthinking, diagnosing, regretting, others see a toxic cycle....and we're left with the silent guilt, the regret....the unsettling feeling we're losing ourselves and them in the grey...
2026-10-18 21:28:41