@thepottymouthguru: You know you’re getting defensive. You can literally hear yourself doing it. And somewhere in the back of your mind, you’re thinking, Fuck. Here we go again. You know your partner isn’t necessarily attacking you. You know they’re trying to tell you something about how they’re feeling. But suddenly you’re explaining your intentions, correcting the details, justifying your behaviour, or bringing up something THEY did. And afterward? You can see exactly where things went sideways. Here’s the thing: understanding WHY you get defensive doesn’t automatically mean you know how to respond differently when those feelings show up. That’s a skill. And it’s one you can actually learn. Because knowing your patterns is important. But learning what to DO when you’re right in the middle of them? That’s where things can start to change. Anyone else ever catch themselves getting defensive in real time and STILL struggle to stop? ❤️🤟🏻🌿

The Pottymouth Guru

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Wednesday 21 October 2026 17:36:55 GMT

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kiirkas :

This is where a mindfulness/meditation practice helped me so much. Regular sessions built my ability to pause, scan for emotions, consider the skills I could use, and then think before responding to external pressures and situations. I can't recommend it enough as a companion to building skills. 💖

2026-10-21 18:05:02

Mou says hi :

hell yeah. we are ready!

2026-10-21 17:47:01

Megan :

literally with my mom. and I've tried to explain to her that it would be helpful if she asked me if i wanted opinions or suggestions instead of just trying to offer alternatives of my plans for something. and she doesnt do that. so then when she starts offering opinions/alternatives i try to head it off by saying i appreciate it but i dont need that and then she still just says but i just have this idea and wont let it go until i either flip out or hear her out which bothers me because it feels like shes telling me my idea isnt good enough and hers is better even though she has explained to me thats not how she means it, shes just an ideas person. and i dono what to do anymore about it

2026-10-21 18:19:55

Luke Elson :

Every.Single.Time. My emotional response continues to register it as an attack, no matter how aware I am. I need this help 😢

2026-10-22 23:46:37

Thin Air :

Preach! I was just in a work meeting and I could feel the rising of self defence (I had no reason for it, I'm just insecure and afraid!) Sometimes it's hard to stop because it disrupts the flow of what a conversation "should be" and that's even more terrifying! I gotta follow the "normal"/majority person script! I can't just randomly pause and watch my brain's grasp on the conversation just fall apart because of my lacklustre working memory. 😳

2026-10-21 17:45:00

user9025190641213 :

stop doing this, you talk about the problems but never about the solutions. so many therapists on tik tok do this... it is so disappointing.

2026-10-23 04:36:22

Rick :

my body is ready for the How 💯

2026-10-25 19:45:27

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