claire_tulips
Region: GB
Thursday 22 October 2026 09:29:13 GMT
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Helen Adam :
When my mental health is better, I accrpt easier options to protect my peace, for example, I will go to a slightly more expensive petrol station if its on route, pay a bit more to get things delivered rather than going out of my way for a click and collect, have something I fancy from a menu if I need to eat out, not just go for the cheapest option. When my mental health deteriorates I make life a lot harder for myself despite already being more stressed and get consumed by cost, for example, returning clothing if I find it £1 cheaper elsewhere, so much effort. I feel like when I lose control of my mental health and feel out of my depth at work or with my weight for example, I try to make up for it in other areas and hyperfixate on spending, maybe you could be doing similar. You are doing amazingly with your snacks and breaking some old habits, are you maybe creating new rules for yourself elsewhere? xx
2026-11-13 14:49:17
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Molly :
It’s so interesting! I’m the exact same. I struggle with money restriction SO much and have such tight margins on where I allow myself to spend money; particularly on food (luckily holidays is one I do spend on 🤣)
2026-10-22 09:41:15
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Bigfoot :
Slightly different but I had a huge struggle with money when I started recovery. Me restricting saved us a lot of money on groceries. Once I was needing to be included in the grocery budget, we started having to scrape our money together for bills. Especially as I couldn't work either. The guilt was outrageous and it gave me an easy out any time I wanted to relapse. Money definitely added an extra challenge. I still struggle with it now on months where money is tight as I 'know" I could go without.
2026-10-22 10:51:20
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lizzie ☀️ :
i have definitely dealt with similar feelings! i personally believe it’s due to living with a scarcity mindset for so long, where you believe less = more worthy. when you are working towards unlearning it in one area of your life (your relationship with food), your subconscious mind feels unsettled as it’s so used to limitations that keep you “safe” and now they’re disappearing. it’s preparing itself psychologically for a danger that isn’t coming.. because you are doing the hard work to make sure it doesn’t. your nervous system will likely be in shock for a little while, as it’s unlearning a restrictive mindset that you held for 35 years. try to challenge yourself, in small ways, to allow for abundance.. even if it’s buying branded washing up liquid or a luxury bath soak. 🩷
2026-10-23 02:57:45
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L :
That’s just so strange because I’m exactly like this. I never knew it had anything to do with being anorexic. I just cannot get myself to buy anything for myself . I go into shops quite hopeful then come out with nothing thinking I don’t need it and what’s the point anyway!!
2026-10-22 18:41:46
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mostlyharmlesslondoner🇬🇧🇪🇺 :
It's a work in progress.
2026-10-22 10:16:15
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J.G :
This is really interesting, I’m 34 and have struggled like you for a good 20 years. I can spend money on others, but struggle immensely spending on myself unless I have found the cheapest version. I’ll spend hours looking around online at different options then end up not buying. I’ve needed face wash for a month and just haven’t got it. Today I ordered my face wash and a few other essentials I’ve been after as my skin is in desperate need but still hesitated. Even thought to put it on pay in 3 so ‘less’ money went out my account when in reality I didn’t need to as I can afford it? so I actively had to fight that thought and just pay for it in one but it felt hard. It’s madness really, and in these moments show how mis understood anorexia is when people think it’s about being thin - when it stretches as far as struggling to convince yourself it’s ok to buy face wash. Anyway, sending ♥️, keep going. We deserve much more than anorexia would like us to believe. X
2026-10-22 11:13:23
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Cora :
I struggle with money restriction so much and didn’t realise it could be linked to my anorexia, it’s so hard to participate in life when restricting everything 🥲
2026-10-22 10:43:02
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j :
Omg I binge eat and I binge spend. It’s more the opposite that I feel I deserve what I want [Innocent]
2026-10-22 19:37:28
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Alex :
I feel this
2026-10-22 20:09:20
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Maple 🍁 :
Have you read "Rehabilitate, Rewire, recover" by Tabitha Farrar? There's so many interesting concepts around restriction and it does touch on non food related things such as money x
2026-10-22 09:40:04
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Swan🦢 :
thank you so much for your honesty and vulnerability, claire 🥹✨ you might not feel it, but what you’re doing is so important to yourself and everyone else struggling. thank you for showing us it’s never too late 🤍 lots of love to you
2026-10-22 09:50:47
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aoife :
I had a spending problem at the height of my ED because I was looking for the dopamine I wasn’t getting from food & now that I eat enough I don’t feel the need to order 20 things off of vinted anymore lol, I know a lot of people who wouldn’t spend money on themselves though
2026-10-22 22:04:22
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G Dawg :
The hospital bill will be pricy from the consequences of restriction and it can take years to get diagnosis. Causing catastrophic debt and credit issues. I know everything is so expensive too. I hope you're able to heal. Just know that you absolutely do deserve the best of everything! 🫶❤️❤️❤️
2026-10-27 18:33:31
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Pauline :
I can relate SO much!! I could even by myself toothpaste - but now I buy stuff and have an issue with using it.
2026-10-22 18:08:35
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mathew baddeley :
You spend it girl. You’re smashing it ! And deserve every penny to treat yourself. 💪
2026-10-22 20:18:36
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Megs :
I’m the exact same! x
2026-10-22 10:20:07
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:P :
the fact that you realise it yourself is massive! I relate to you a lot and have a lot of love for you as parasocial as it sounds. you help me be kinder to myself & you deserve it yourself! ❤️
2026-10-22 21:59:30
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Spotsintheforest :
I mean this in the least offensive way possible, and if you’re in ED treatment it may already be part of your recovery teams plan, but have you tried a therapist? I found myself doing similar things, often times unconsciously, and it was my therapist who often caught it early that I was “replacing” the control and dopamine that restriction of food caused by just shifting it elsewhere 😅
2026-10-22 14:15:44
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Viv👩❤️💋👩🇨🇦 :
I don’t know how to recover if I can barely pay my bills, it’s my biggest battle.
2026-10-22 10:19:46
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Amethyst20 :
Do you think this stemmed from your childhood? Like did your parents say you weren't deserving of things? Xx
2026-10-24 07:13:33
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SonderSelf🦋 ED Recovery Coach :
This is such an important thing to talk about [Twin hearts]
2026-10-22 22:50:32
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joshuacardnellcar :
Its obsession and control that your trying to find in other behaviours which is normal considering your condition
2026-10-22 15:38:50
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Klndr2phntml :
Oh this is so relatable!!! I don’t eat when I’m feeling stressed and I think a big part of it is the feeling that I don’t deserve it. It’s comforting to know I’m not the only one
2026-10-22 13:44:46
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noone :
It’s good that you’re recognising this. It’s quite common. Your ED is clearly self punishment and there is a danger that you just transfer it elsewhere. Alcoholics often swap alcohol with sugar for example.
2026-10-22 12:17:54
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