@ashh.grayy_: My mental health is barely hanging on by a thread lately. ❤️‍🩹 I ALWAYS struggle this time of year. Seasonal depression, major depression, AND grief? A lovely little combination. 🫠 And apparently, grief hits a little differently when you're no longer numbing yourself with illicit substances. 🙃 But being older, wiser, and in recovery has taught me to recognize my patterns. I know what it looks like when I'm slipping, and this time, I reached out BEFORE I hit rock bottom. I admitted that I needed more help than I was already receiving. And instead of judgment, I was met with compassion and a referral. No interrogation. No criticism. Just support. NEVER underestimate how important that is. Reaching out for help is fucking hard, and being judged when you're vulnerable can make you think twice about ever asking again. Today, I had my intake appointment with my NEW therapist! ❤️ (Yes, I already have a therapist! 😂 My other therapist specializes in drug and alcohol recovery. This one is specifically for my mental health.) We spent nearly 90 MINUTES going through my life, from the very beginning to where I am today. And I left with a really good feeling about this. She listened. REALLY listened. She made me feel seen and heard, and thanked me for being so open during our first meeting. But one thing she pointed out really stuck with me. We talked about all the people I've lost. My dad, my mom, my gram, and friends I've lost to addiction and suicide. 💔 But she didn't just recognize the people I've lost. She recognized the loss of my safety. My dignity. My freedom. My TIME. Things I'd never really thought about that way before. And it hit me... addiction didn't just take people from my life. It took pieces of ME, too. Somewhere along the way, I became so accustomed to surviving painful things that I learned to talk about them almost matter-of-factly. Like they were just things that happened. But surviving something and HEALING from it are two very different things. And I'm finally ready to do more than just survive. Maybe I can't bring my loved ones back, but I sure as HELL can honor them. ❤️ I can protect the life I'm building. I can work toward reclaiming the pieces of myself I've lost. And I can finally give myself permission to grieve everything I've been carrying. I'm not ashamed to need help. I'm proud of myself for recognizing that I needed more and actually reaching for it. Because recovery isn't just about what we leave behind. It's about rebuilding a life we want to be here for. It's time to start reclaiming what I've lost, one little piece of myself at a time. 🖤❤️‍🩹 #therapytok #mentalhealthmatters #recoverytok #recoveryjourney #griefandhealing

ashh grayy♡

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Thursday 22 October 2026 23:22:37 GMT