@msiffys: getting more personal but i just like ranting in my posts 😅😅 why do i get so jealous in friendships? i hate this. i want my own person but every person that ive favorited or felt was my best friend always has someone else so then i get embarrassed. im always embarrassing myself. sometimes i regret telling someone how i deeply feel about them just so they play in my face 😂😂 ugh ive been so stressed with happening in my friend group but its also my own fault for being so quiet. ill be honest i got quiet because i got jealous when you started talking with him more after you told me you wanted to stay closer to me than the others. i shouldn’t have been so jealous but i did get jealous. i hate it because you’re literally my friend and you’ll only ever see me as your friend, nothing more than just a friend, not even a best friend. you’re each others best friends but i wish you felt that way about me. am i not as interesting as i once was or thought i was? im sorry for acting this way but also do you only enjoy my presence when im talking to you and not when im quiet? i tried to be talkative today but it felt like you didn’t seem that interested so i got awkward and withdrawled from talking and it got more awkward. im questioning that im more in the wrong through, ive started vaping and sh again, i feel like maybe that can be the cause for everything happening. i feel weird and confused all the time. i keep noticing the negative effects but i cant stop. i need to stop but its hard to when it helps me feel calm when needed. its just ruining my relationships and i feel like people will just start looking at me wrong. i need to get better but at the same time im okay with the place im in #vent #rant #soobin
