@coachshanil: Shutting down can become your defense mechanism when you don’t know how to express your feelings or you’re afraid of how somebody might respond. And I notice three things women often say when they explain why they shut down. 1. “I shut down because nobody ever listens to me.” I understand how frustrating it can be to feel unheard. But you also have to recognize when you’re assuming somebody won’t listen before you’ve even given them an opportunity to hear you. 2. “I shut down because if I start talking, I’m going to take it to hell.” That tells me you’re angry, and you may need some time to regulate your emotions before having that conversation. There’s nothing wrong with taking a moment to calm down. But you still have to learn how to come back and communicate what upset you. 3. “I shut down because I’ve already expressed how I feel too many times.” Okay, but here’s my question. If you’ve already communicated how you feel multiple times and nothing has changed, why do you keep putting yourself in a position where you have to repeat the same conversation? At some point, you have to decide what you’re willing to continue accepting. Learning how to communicate also means learning when to speak up, when to take a moment to yourself, and when to make a decision based on what somebody has already shown you.

Coach Shani

Open In TikTok:

Region: US

Sunday 25 October 2026 16:16:58 GMT