Something else I thought about after yesterday is how often our own expectations contribute to the frustration we feel toward our kids. Because while it’s important to know how to recover when we lose our patience, it’s just as important to look at what’s causing us to lose it. Think about the end of a long day. You’re exhausted, dinner still needs to happen, everyone needs a bath, and you have about 15 things running through your mind. Meanwhile, your child wants to look at one more thing, finish playing, or tell you a story that apparently cannot wait. But here’s what we sometimes forget. Your child has no idea what’s going on inside your head. They aren’t thinking about the schedule, the responsibilities waiting at home, or how exhausted you are. And yet, sometimes we expect them to behave as though they understand all of it. We can’t expect our children to respond to pressures they don’t even know exist. That doesn’t mean they don’t have to listen or follow directions. It means WE need to recognize when our own stress is influencing how we’re interpreting their behavior. And there’s another piece to this. Are we expecting skills from our kids that we haven’t actually taught? I believe in having high expectations for children. But expecting a child to do something independently before they’ve developed the skills to do it isn’t having high standards. It’s skipping the teaching. We tell kids to be patient, hurry up, stop interrupting, or get ready on their own. But have we shown them what to do instead? Practiced when things were calm? Given them opportunities to succeed with our help before expecting independence? If your child struggles to get ready in the morning, maybe they aren’t ready to manage the entire routine alone. Start with a couple of steps, reinforce their progress, and gradually build toward independence. We can maintain high expectations while adjusting the amount of support our children need to meet them. And sometimes, becoming a more patient parent isn’t just about learning to respond differently when we’re frustrated. It’s about recognizing what we can change BEFORE we reach that point. - @abanaturally