skeptical_heretic
Region: US
Tuesday 27 October 2026 14:54:33 GMT
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michael :
I believe my people pleasing mostly comes from social anxiety and it is genuinely so hard not to do
2026-10-27 16:07:02
63
Luke ThighWalker :
It is almost ALWAYS from parents raising a kid through obedience and fear... 😒 so sick of narcissistic parents
2026-10-27 23:27:45
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peeoshi :
god, being a people pleaser in the workplace is sooo toxic. my early 20’s were hell because of it.
2026-10-27 15:07:28
92
Nikolas Diamond :
I've always struggled with this and after being with my wife for over 20 years I've come to realize she has too.
2026-10-27 20:26:25
0
Eghosa Tom :
I’m a people pleaser….been fighting with it and trying my best 😭
2026-10-27 15:24:38
28
Fanksluv :
49-year old exvangelical here and I concur
2026-10-27 23:16:49
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𓆩♡𓆪𝐊 ∼𝐋𓆩♡𓆪 :
doing a whole degree to please my parents and I am REALLY going through it 😭🙏🏾. Should have studied something else
2026-10-28 00:10:27
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Healing Heartward :
I love the transparency 💔💔❤️🩹❤️🩹
2026-10-27 23:15:38
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dying4paper :
Slowing down in the moment, practice, listening that inner child and taking that voice so serious. Accepting your role as a villain in other people’s story. Realizing that the people that expect you to abandon yourself are not your friend
2026-10-27 16:49:39
15
schpiduhman :
I have struggled with people pleasing for all my life. I still wrestle with it every day. But over the last month I’ve been fighting back. It’s been a lot better and I’ve really been able to assert myself. It was destroying me for so long. I hope everyone who engages in this is able to get the appropriate support and therapy.
2026-10-27 16:02:03
5
Noah :
To anyone who is a people pleaser and wants to stop: This is going to be a deeply uncomfortable process but I can’t stress enough how necessary it is. Step 1 is to get a therapist and use those therapy sessions as practice being confrontational. Basically you’ll go through therapy normally, but each session take a minute to analyze the nature of the dynamic with your therapist. Be confrontational with them at least once per session. From here you need to practice confrontation with other people in your life culminating with your parents (who were ultimately the source of where your impulses to people please came from). Even as an adult, you absolutely need to learn to be confrontational with them. Set clear boundaries and stick to them. From there, your impulses to people please will begin to fade. Otherwise you will have essentially thrown your life away living for other people instead of yourself.
2026-10-27 15:46:11
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Last Elixir :
I entered my villain era, I’m selfish now. My life has been easier ever since.
2026-10-27 21:29:57
3
cinnytoast :
There's a lot of irony in "not wanting to be difficult." My sister is such a people pleaser that it's led her to be quite the fence-sitter on everything and that's made our relationship *so* difficult. We're close, but she's still evangelical so her people-pleasing is encouraged. Thank you for speaking on it.
2026-10-27 15:10:07
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Toorese!😃 :
thank you so much for this video
2026-10-27 15:03:41
10
g :
You cant people please everyone and you can end up pleasing one person and this destroys your relationship with another
2026-10-27 19:51:19
3
Chris C :
A sentiment that sticks with me is that setting boundaries allows people to show up for you the way you need them to without over extending yourself. A lot of times people pleasing comes from an assumption that if you say what you need (or say no) the other person wont show up how you want/need them to. It robs both them of the chance to interact with you authenticitly and yourself of having the support you need (either from them doing the action or by removing themselves to allow space for people who will).
2026-10-27 19:22:34
3
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :
Do you think that it was one of the reasons you bacame a Christian at first then noticed it after
2026-10-27 16:01:13
0
dimesdimesdimes :
Deconstructing can never end because the indoctrination can be so far reaching that it’s basically changing what’s become second nature. Every time I want to set a boundary, or stand up for myself, there’s so much guilt and shame. Then I have a pattern of forgiving and letting go before the conflict even happens because I’ve been so used to spiritual bypassing and gaslighting so then nothing gets resolved and I just end up living with people behaving in borderline abusive ways
2026-10-27 15:12:29
4
liotv6 :
I really resonate w this heavily. With wanting to be accepted. Thank you.
2026-10-27 15:11:32
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Ophelia Valentine :
I struggle with this so much! It’s one of the hardest patterns for me to break! I hate that I was wired this way since a child. All those times I betrayed myself really hurt and I’m paying the price now. Feel like I need to move and start somewhere new
2026-10-27 18:26:16
3
voteblue💙💙💙 :
When I had my kids I told myself I would stop. I don't want my kids to be people pleasing and submissive.
2026-10-27 16:23:36
3
🍂Elle Kay☕️ :
I felt the emotion you had when telling us about the recent people pleasing you recognized. Big hugs (consensually) 🤗 because it clearly has affected you big time. You’re doing amazing by even recognizing it! I’m the same way. I have to remind myself that uncomfortable doesn’t mean danger. I am safe. And I deserve to have my thoughts and feelings considered! Sending you love friend 🫶🏻
2026-10-27 16:47:18
2
TheWholeInternet :
100%. I appreciate you making this video.
2026-10-27 15:12:16
2
Brandon :
I relate to this so much, especially in the context of deconstruction. I went to religious schools in high school and undergrad, and as a gay man I had to police myself heavily in those environments. I have learned to people please as a form of prevention/protection, but you are absolutely right in that it's not an authentic way to live and causes problems. I have definitely evolved over time, but I still struggle with these people pleasing tendencies.
2026-10-27 16:54:45
2
Murphy West :
yep
2026-10-27 15:04:18
2
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