@trend_log: he went out with his friends on a friday and his phone went dead around ten, or at least that's what he told me later. i spent six hours lying in bed staring at the ceiling, building a whole story in my head from nothing. who was he with, why didn't he borrow a charger, why didn't he care that i'd be worried. when he finally texted at four in the morning it was just "home." no sorry, no explanation. the next day when i tried to talk about it, he said i was being crazy and insecure. but he left me alone with those thoughts. he didn't give me one thing to hold onto, and then he got upset that my mind filled the empty space with the worst version. that happened over and over until i didn't trust my own head anymore. after we ended, i started writing my thoughts down every night before bed, separating what i knew from what i feared. it's quieter in there now. i learned how to reassure myself, and i stopped waiting for someone who never planned to.

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