@earnedwellness: Childhood trauma reenactment: being with a partner who refuses to take responsibility for what they're doing in the relationship. This is a reenactment of the parentification process (role reversal) where the child had to disconnect from the needs and focus more on managing their parents. #trauma #MentalHealth #depression #cptsd #ptsd

✨🦂Natural Born Muse🌹✨ :

This is so exhausting. I was constantly triggered and he always had an excuse.

Mary E Frost :

leave. you break it by leaving

Tiffany Nichole :

Meeeee 🤗 The day I realized my male partner behaves like my mother...

LySette Schweitzer :

I spent 2 decades doing exactly this! I believed if I kept working on and changing myself, it would eventually work. Can’t believe i repeated the same toxic cycle from my childhood which hurt so bad and caused serious damage. It didn’t look the same unconsciously felt familiar. And I didn’t see this. Til about 3 decades in. I’m no longer double twice the work. I’ve finally accepted myself!

DonToliver :

And it sucks so much because I will constantly own up to what I do, and I make sure they know my intentions and I'll work on it moving forward, but that same grace is not afforded to me 🫩

Cesar :

How do you get someone like this to see the abuse they’re doing in therapy

KTM :

I was abused as a child by a family member and tried to take my own life at 12. My parents were frustrated and could not understand why . But I could not tell them. My trauma is not being seen or understood. My relationship with my husband is an exact copy/paste of this feeling for me.

whoisit161587 :

So what do you do if they flip this on you. They act a certain way, you call it out, and accuse you of causing problems.

kimster :

That was me in my marriage. Apologizing numerous times just to keep the peace. I apologize for being upset about something he did that made me upset.

Frida🧿 :

So your saying it’s was not all my fault.😳

satansfavoriteee :

Maria :

Holy smokes I’ve never heard it explained like this. Super helpful

DuckNorrisQuackyChan :

Then the child goes to therapy and learns that is okay to have your emotional needs met and loved by someone

venuscrytrap :

It’s HELL. It’s impossible… No amount of compromise is ever enough, it’s like they literally want to erase you and your needs from existence…

Kdub5❌ :

Very helpful. This is a more nuanced way of explaining the trauma bond. I already left my first marriage and thus came next.

Tiff :

yes it has been a long road realizing this and doing self healing. it has been exhausting

Babybyebaby :

This happened to me at 26/27 he had his own family trauma that I don’t want to take away from , but it was absolutely horrible I’d been in bad relationships before but I would say it was my first emotionally abusive

RK☘️ :

I had a partner, a mom and a grandmother who blames the devil and generational curses for every damn traumatic or evil thing they do. 😅

vftm11 :

My first marriage to a T

V :

Mine acknowledged it but never changed. I changed myself for 5 years and lost myself in the process. Never doing this again.

ariana 🪡 :

because we are used to being a scapegoat we sometimes don’t even realise it’s happening it just feels normal

the-whole-shenanigans :

When you marry a man who is exactly like your abusers who had NPD as a child, youre stuck in cycles of abuse that perfectly match up with what you were groomed to perform as a child. It’s a sick form of self harming behavior that’s highly subconscious bc there is no sense of self or fully formed personality when you have CPTSD or any dissociative disorder that often co occurs with CPTSD. CPTSD and OSDD/DID go hand in hand. There is no actual self awareness or any adult POV with the combo happening. How do I know? Bc I had CPTSD and DID. Decades of misdiagnosis and garbage cbt/dbt therapy allowed it to continue and get worse with every passing year. I lost years of time bc if it. I got randomly lucky that I found a therapist who specialized in complex trauma and dissociative disorders and clocked me right out the gate. Had me diagnosed and treatment started at week 3. By year two I could no longer be clinically diagnosed with either disorder and lived in reality full time and gained decades of maturity in 2 years time! Still went for further therapy to grow my sense of self and my own identity that was cut off from any growth by age five. I was lucky that I did manage to develop a “self” but it was like a kernel of who I am and was harsh to confront that but amazing to grow it as an adult and able to comprehend what was happening the whole time.

:p :

This was my childhood (more extreme version). MDD to the point of losing time, teary, reserved, so scared of judgement that I developed social anxiety..bc I turned all the harm in the relationship into self-hate. Obviously mentally ill. My BPD mom later told me “we used to have such a good relationship.” People like this will take as much as you let them. Leave.

Elle :

Ngl I really thought you were gonna say the reenactment was of the person currently refusing to take adult responsibility, even now that they are an adult, and instead they are continuing to act like a child and project a parental role onto their romantic partner but... wishful thinking I guess 🤷