Anthony | How to People
Region: US
Wednesday 28 October 2026 22:10:30 GMT
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jaredscheerer :
Two questions, genuinely. First, what do you mean by "multiple social skills"? Like, going through these four stages for "being social" would be one skill, no? Just like learning a specific instrument, or learning to paint with acrylics, etc. Maybe I'm reading too much into it but that verbiage surprised me and I wonder if I'm thinking about being social as a skill in the wrong way. But mainly, any advice for anyone who struggles with #2 in terms of socializing? In particular, the second part of it. I can generally grasp when I do something that "incorrect" when socializing, but I really struggle with thinking of a way to do it "correctly." This is why I default to masking in all social situations, because I genuinely cannot figure WHY what I've done is wrong, and what I was supposed to do instead. In other words, how do you go from number 1 to number 2, let alone the other ones? In general, I tend to get easily stuck on #1. I do best when I can skip it entirely, for whatever reason, whether it be natural talent, or a genuine interest in the subject which allows for hyperfocus, condensing the progression into a very short time period (less than a week, usually a day). If it takes longer than a week or two and I'm still stuck on 1, I get frustrated and bored, and move on to the next thing. Usually happens with new games, but also with instruments, singing, art, fitness, sports, etc.
2026-11-06 05:23:02
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The Egg Queen :
This is good advice for those who want to learn to mask better—it’s much easier and more fun to be skilled at socializing. Unconscious masking is still masking though. That’s how I got to my 30’s without being diagnosed. Now, I’m reaping the consequences of my unconscious competence. Being very good at socializing didn’t remove its physical, mental, and emotional cost.
2026-10-28 23:51:50
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Zaunnika :
I’m capable of reading the room at a mediocre level when I direct my attention and set my intention. That goes out the window when I’m telling a story that needs significant recall, or recreating a train of thought, especially if there’s other concerns spinning in the background.
2026-10-29 10:44:35
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Grapejuice drinker :
I havent masked since i was 13 because i was too depressed to care anymore im 24 now. I learnt social skills because its just simple animal behaviour. When you reframe it that way it helps sometimes. "Why do we small talk?" Its an extremely quick way to share an agreed opinion. "Its hot today" "yes! Omg its scorchin!" Now we have connected on a personable level, you have just subconsciously let the other person know that you are friendly, agreeable, and want to be there with them. Non-human animals do this with body language (like dogs sniffing each other and cats rubbing) if you refuse to interact with the pack the pack is going to bully you and treat you like shit and it truly is your fault
2026-11-03 12:43:54
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caleb.g :
Not really what masking is
2026-10-30 17:03:29
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ETP 🇨🇦 📚 :
There is a balance of understand the skills but pulling your genuine self into them. This is what I teach my students when dealing with our cancer patients. If you aren’t a hugger, you can’t be trying to incorporate that in as it feels fake. You have to allow your genuine vulnerable self to rise to the surface while keeping your response true to you. And it takes practice.
2026-10-31 19:00:01
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Kenny :
gentlemans, my peak was 1
2026-10-28 23:06:42
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Mindowgas :
just take on some one else's personality
2026-10-29 12:17:30
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