TheGottmanInstitute
Region: US
Friday 30 October 2026 16:00:25 GMT
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TheGottmanInstitute :
Expressing disappointment or hurt feelings is a normal and healthy part of relationships! 💙 You should absolutely be able to share how you feel with the people you love. The distinction here is between sharing those feelings and using them to make someone feel guilty for their choices. Guilt-tripping can be subtle, but often you know when it’s happening, especially when there’s a pattern of making someone feel responsible for another person’s emotions. The goal isn’t to discourage anyone from expressing their feelings. It’s to create space for honest communication while still respecting each other’s choices and boundaries. Both can be true!
2026-10-31 21:30:30
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kegan :
The new family you create comes first.
2026-10-30 17:58:53
323
cantservetwomasters :
They just want to make sure u feel loved and missed
2026-10-31 21:25:14
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Tides, Tails and Travels :
We really missed you at Christmas. Is guilt tripping?
2026-10-31 03:37:13
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Yetiyeti :
I wish I could’ve heard the answer to that last question.
2026-10-30 18:17:24
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jess2toc :
My dad could give a crap 364 days but you better be there for the Christmas photo for fb.
2026-10-31 01:43:50
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user6345474148681 :
In what world is letting your parents be alone at Christmas acceptable ?
2026-10-30 17:37:41
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Amysbooknook 🤓📚 :
I’ve chosen to host most of the holidays and my parents are welcome to come but hosting has allowed me to take control over how things run in my household and being able to illicit peace in my own place and there’s been times where they didn’t come and times where they did come, but I choose to host so that I can have that level of boundaries in peace and I know that my environment and how I run things always stay safe. My parents either have to conform or they can spend it alone.
2026-10-30 18:25:41
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Barb Living Her Best Life :
And me the people pleaser will go the polar opposite, no worries, now problem and then bury the hurt feelings
2026-10-31 18:42:16
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FAITH HOPE LOVE :
So now expressing the feelings of missing another is immoral? Oh good grief.
2026-10-30 19:07:57
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Foodreviewsbendicióndedios :
I wish the gottman's were my tutors. So that I could through life using their wisdom.
2026-10-30 16:28:08
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Judy Jetson :
FOG... Fear, Obligation and Guilt
2026-10-31 04:59:34
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Amy Hammer :
yes and its presented passive aggressively
2026-10-30 18:18:35
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MultiversalChaosMuppet :
it's the same as the public call out "you never bring the kids to see me!" like yes, you live an hour in the opposite direction and you drive past my house two times a day and you never call or ask or stop to visit or text or check on us soooo 🤷♀️
2026-10-31 16:53:15
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Nichol DeGroot :
What if they were just stating the fact that they miss you?
2026-10-30 18:22:58
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💃DanzaConMagui💃 :
Um, I wanted the answer to that 2nd question
2026-10-31 18:39:27
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Cmdvee :
Think of it as honoring your parents so that your kids will do the same to you when they grow up.
2026-10-31 16:45:55
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t1ckityb00🇨🇦 :
I've tip toed around showing any of my emotions to my adult child to the point where I don't think they realize I even have feelings 😅. so yup, along with "wow that sounds fun I'm glad you had a good time! I also make room for the occasional "I miss you or I can't wait to see you next time" sometimes, because hiding my humanity is a disservice to us both.
2026-10-30 22:01:26
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Kelly :
If we wouldn't get together on a random day of the week, I don't want to spend a holiday with them out of obligation
2026-10-31 15:06:59
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Vic the Stick :
or... they really feel hurt not seeing you?
2026-10-31 08:32:22
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Catcorner :
There is a compassionate way to see it as well. My old parent love me and miss me when I’m gone. They miss the times when Christmas was everything, when I needed so much from them to create Christmas magic, and the smallest things would create immense joy that they would bask in together. Doing one of the small traditions together ripple through time and we share the family bond and joy, now with new family members, and with my parents in a different role. If they say they missed me for Christmas I hear a call do attachment, and try not to wallow in the pain of it (guilt) but direct it to how I can plan a Christmas dinner, or come for Christmas next year.
2026-10-31 12:01:15
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Eric | The Creative Architect :
Why I went no contact with my family
2026-10-31 16:30:39
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Gene💙 :
I hate the guilt trips they just make me mad and want to be around them less
2026-10-31 18:59:11
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Laurstar92 :
sounds familiar-- "am I going to see you all dressed up at all tomorrow?" about Halloween.
2026-10-31 18:05:43
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karencarothers513 :
I told my grandma that I take care of her not because I have to or feel morally obligated but because I want to. She kept trying to manipulate outcomes like this so I stopped being the one to ask first. The onus is on her to ask. She refuses to ask.
2026-10-31 16:05:14
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