@seanessy88: DAY 30 | ADHD AWARENESS MONTH 19 Years With Me: Catriona’s Perspective For 29 days, I’ve talked about my ADHD. Today, it’s my wife Catriona’s turn. She’s had a front-row seat for 19 years. She’s seen the confident, sociable version of me, the questionable hairstyles, the anxiety and the mental breakdown that left me struggling to function for nearly eight months. I asked her 20 questions about our life together. Her answers were funny, affectionate and sometimes difficult to read. I’m certainly not the perfect husband. We met as opposites. She was quieter; I was the outgoing drama enthusiast throwing himself into projects, including starting a youth theatre. Less admirable was my insistence on a night out during a red weather warning because I didn’t want to let a friend down. She was absolutely fuming. Fair enough. There’s been plenty of laughter too. I can turn almost anything into a song. On holiday near Sorrento, I discovered Pompeii was a few train stops away. Naturally, we were going. ADHD may help explain impulsivity, but not every joke or adventure needs a diagnosis attached. The person everyone sees isn’t always the person who comes home. At work, I’m making decisions, concentrating and dealing with people all day. At home, I can be exhausted, quiet and withdrawn. Catriona gets the version of me with very little left in the tank. Then there’s the invisible workload. Forgotten appointments, double bookings, and my famous “I’ll be finished in fifteen minutes” that lasts at least half an hour. Catriona packs for family outings, keeps track of what Luca needs and makes sure we’re on time. Meanwhile, I’m on my phone announcing, “I just need to put my shoes on!” It’s funny until you realise how much falls on someone else. ADHD can make these tasks difficult. It doesn’t mean Catriona should have to carry them all. Parenthood has brought another imbalance. I’m often the fun one, inventing adventures and wrestling with Luca. Catriona is the one reminding us about showers, bedtime and the jobs that need doing. My intention is to give her a break, but if she spends that time doing housework, it isn’t much of a break. Perhaps I could empty the dishwasher before another wrestling championship. Some of her hardest answers concerned my defensiveness. I can take criticism personally, even when it isn’t meant that way. Emotional regulation can be difficult with ADHD, but she should never have to manage my reaction just to raise something that matters to her. She wasn’t surprised when I began exploring ADHD and felt relieved when I was diagnosed. My impulsive decision to go private without discussing it first was another matter! She’s proud that I’m speaking up about what I need at work. Diagnosis hasn’t magically changed how I function at home. We’re only two months into this journey. Understanding my behaviour doesn’t erase its impact on her. Equally, taking responsibility shouldn’t mean living in shame about the things I genuinely struggle with. When I asked what she’d tell her younger self, Catriona said to be more patient, encourage my creativity and confidence, and “not let the bastards get you down.” She also wishes she’d known that when I seemed distant, there was usually a reason. It wasn’t about her. Nineteen years, a wedding, a wee boy, wonderful memories, plenty of arguments and a fair bit of chaos later, we’re still learning about each other. Apparently, that’s marriage. And yes, I really do need to put my bloody shoes on. Further reading: NHS inform: https://www.nhsinform.scot/illnesses-and-conditions/adhd/adhd-in-adults/ NICE guideline NG87: https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng87 #ADHD #ADHDAwareness #AdultADHD #ADHDRelationships #ADHDAwarenessMonth

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Saturday 31 October 2026 00:13:10 GMT