@drjulie: 👉 Important advice I share with people in therapy: being treated badly is not a sign that you need to give more. Yet that is exactly what so many of us do. Have you ever given more and more to someone, hoping they would finally treat you the way you treat them? So many of us believe that if we keep trying, respect will follow. But respect is not something you can earn from someone who is not willing to give it. Let me explain. There is often a good reason this is where we go first. Perhaps giving more and asking for less is what kept the peace growing up. Perhaps it is what we were taught love looks like. Either way, it worked at the time, and we tend to hold on to what once kept us safe. So when someone treats us badly, that old instinct kicks in, and we try harder. But effort is not the problem. In relationships where respect is already there, effort matters a great deal. What it cannot do is create respect where there is none. Protecting your worth does not have to be a fight. Often it starts quietly, with noticing what you have stopped asking for. And the question at the end of this video is one to sit with for a while. 👉 For more on this, both my books have you covered. ‘Open When...’ was an instant No.1 Sunday Times and New York Times bestseller, and I also cover some of this in my multi-million copy bestseller, Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? Both available in over 40 languages.

Ninchi True Crime :

I’m ADHD - I had to watch twice, because the first time round, I got stuck on “oh dear god, where did that lit match land” 🤣🤣

something.needs.togohere :

I really need to hear this and the fire department is on their way. 🙂

Autism Mom TT🇹🇹🇬🇾 :

love the tip, but did you just throw a lit matches....

KarinCJansevanrensburg78 :

I'm just myself, and I don't impress no one

Penley57 :

Ive tried to prove my worth for years.No more,thank you🥹🥰

drdayana :

Walk away instead but, too late as ady impact my whole life. Slowly, putting my life pieces by pieces back again on my own.

Rea |Boundaries & Self Respect :

Such a good advice

IANNE :

what a good time to hear this

healthandwellnessway :

That’s an important lesson not just for personal relationships but also for work relationships. Work will expect more and more the more you give. Protect your worth!

Aswin Lutchanah :

This hits hard. It took me long to get to this. But once you realised it, you move to another level.

jedimaster000 :

Just done that journey, my ex-partner suffered from BPD. I gave more and more until I noticed the behaviour didn't change. It's a question of how much you value your peace and your destiny.

Міла Таро :

Thank you for this quick tip. I kinda love it.

Lifestyle :

Wow

Kelvin Ngomano :

where did Mathias go

Alexander Almador :

I’d like to see PersoWrite work with informal writing instead of only academic examples

Cinderella :

Han ⚔️✨📖 :

Well damn.

Apdihakiim :

how to stop bad habits

Grand :

I’d love to see a detailed comparison showing what PersoWrite changes in a complete document

_joeisalwaysright :

How we choose to treat people is our choice and how they choose to treat us is their choice. Full Stop!

user7411407541605 :

And those very people that you knuckle down and try even harder to please, respect you even less than they did before you tried that much harder.

Zash 🇨🇦 :

where'd you throw the match?

Zarmish Khan :

i genuinely wish i read The Abandoned Laws of Life by O. Carter earlier

NickiE29 :

💜💜💜

#KnowUrWorth021 :

💯💯💯