@nerdytravelingwriter: #avoidant #dismissiveavoidant

MamaB :

My avoidant is so hurt because I’m brining up my hurt. I keep being really confused because I’ll say something hurt me and then I’ll be like will you hurt me too and I’m like what did I do to hurt you? He doesn’t ever answer that question I’m finally, I asked him. I was like are you hurt by the fact that I’m bringing up my heart and he’s like yeah… and I was like what?!? so yesterday again I said what am I doing? That’s hurting you and again he told me bringing up your heart. But let me tell you the other thing this man is hurt by is things that feel like disrespect him so for example, if I put trash on the floor of the front seat of my car and he’s a passenger and there’s trash there, he gets very upset because he sees that he disrespect him. If I don’t run to the door and welcome him when he walks in the door, he also gets upset by that I feel like I kind of can’t win.

Snarproyd :

“When you do this it hurts me” is attack language. It’s assigns blame for your internal experience on someone else’s actions, which isn’t how feelings work and outsources emotional responsibility which is itself a form of emotional avoidance. The emotionally responsible way to communicate this is “When you did [action], I felt hurt”.

Amy LaFawn :

im not the avoidant though.. go to his fyp

joserodriguez1670 :

I wish someone gave her this hard truth before she just deleted me from her life

Michelle :

Exactly

miked1290 :

yeah nothing but excuses and easy outs. that's how we work it right? yeah you hurt me. we got to work on fixing it. no you f***** up deal with the consequences

Tripp Worth :

unless your a boy then you have to suck it up and never let anyone know unless you want more of the same

user6576261082454 :

So true. What makes it hard is your tone, and your incredibly thin skin. It feels like if we say or do anything that can be taken negatively, your hypervigilant anxiety will find a way to make it an indelible assault on your character, worth, and respect as you overthink the situation into the ground. It's exhausting.

Domorerestmorebecomemore :