@oumacidal: i could dress more masculine. wear no makeup. cut my hair. they won’t see me as a boy though. i could start T, get surgery, legally change my ID’s and such but they’ll never see me as a boy. i could change every little thing about myself. and it wouldn’t change a thing. i want to atleast be desirable even if it’s an innaccurate display of myself. and i’ll ignore my disgust. my hatred. my insecurity. my dysphoria. i’ll ignore it for as long as i can so more people will love me and accept me. but ill always hate myself. i hate seeing people look at me weirdly when i call myself michael, even if i try hard that day to pass. they know. it’s obvious. i know it’s obvious. no matter how much i hide it everyone knows. and they hate me for it. and i hate me for it too. i wish i was content with being a girl. i wish i could embrace my femininity and feel secure and feel good. but it makes me sick. i hate it. i wish i was born a boy. i wish i grew up with them. i wish they’d let me understand. i wish they’d let me peek into their world, into their brains and let me live. i wish i was natural. i wish that i wouldn’t have to change everything about myself to be one. even then i wouldn’t really be a boy, not to them. not to myself either i could blame everyone else. saying their hate is what makes me insecure. but it’s me. i’ll never feel like a man myself. i know im not like them. i know im not the same. and that’ll never change. i’m not apart of that world. so i’ll do my makeup. i’ll grow my hair out. i’ll dress like a skank. i’ll be the prettiest boy you’ll ever see because i want you to atleast look at me like im worth something. i want you to atleast see me. and think im cute. i don’t know what id do if nobody thought i was pretty. i dont look more like a boy, i just look ugly. and i know they think that too #ftm #trans #transgender #transman #moots?

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Monday 02 November 2026 21:56:36 GMT