Matthias J Barker
Region: US
Tuesday 03 November 2026 00:02:23 GMT
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laSraJack :
surface relationships with people who are supposed to fully love and accept you unconditionally is inauthentic, period.
2026-11-03 14:30:08
42
Brooke :
It will never not be fucking heartbreaking that my parents do not want to know the real me.
2026-11-11 01:32:37
0
badbryan :
why would I want to have a relationship with the person who beat me?
2026-11-10 18:27:04
0
kerwinning :
This is the bare minimum to be a decent person with the general public, your co-workers, the mail man. But with your own child? That is hard to accept. I drove 5 hours to go visit my dad, and within one hour, he was back to watching his TV programs. I spent a full week helping him move. But he got right back to his programs.
2026-11-12 02:39:17
0
arothst2 :
Told my parents I would no longer be sharing details of my life. They replied “ok”. Surface level it has been for almost a decade.
2026-11-03 16:13:20
1
seanwrites :
That's not a relationship, that's a job. More of an acquaintanceship. Which, at least for me in this moment in time, only serves of a reminder of what is/was missing and still wrong.
2026-11-03 00:37:43
47
Off to the races 361 :
I’ve got no time for that bs. I’d rather have nothing.
2026-11-03 03:04:16
15
Cristina 💙 :
My mother can’t stand the depths and I can’t stand the shallows. A surface-level relationship with a parent feels inauthentic and demoralizing because humans at any age have an innate, biological need to be deeply seen, known, and emotionally validated by their parents. The childhood and young adulthood wound from not being known by my parent was exacerbated for decades of her not caring to know me in my 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s. She can have all the surface level relationships she wants with her neighbors, her grocery store clerk, her mail carrier. I’m her daughter, and I’m not interested in surface.
2026-11-03 05:31:13
11
pusheenandsushi :
It’s so much more painful to me though…that my own parent doesn’t GAF about my inner world, my thoughts and opinion.
2026-11-03 02:04:51
13
Vanessa Sumner :
I once heard that it’s impossible to have one person that checks all of your boxes. For example, you may have a friend that you go to the gym with that’s the relationship. You may have a friend that you go to the bar with and that’s the relationship. You may have a friend that you watch sports with and that’s the relationship. Why do we expect one person to be compatible with all of our different sides?
2026-11-03 00:24:50
5
Stacy :
The issue with this is resolving issues is impossible if you can’t have real conversations
2026-11-03 00:53:55
3
NotYourMom :
I have a surface relationship with my Dad. I’ve always wanted more but he’s 80 now so it’s just easier to enjoy the relationship for what it is.
2026-11-03 01:55:44
7
normabonner451 :
You can’t have an authentic relationship with someone who is looking for every opportunity to bring you down.
2026-11-03 22:54:16
2
Christine Conrad :
I couldn’t agree more. I loved my Dad but needed to distance myself. We had a surface level relationship. I was still me. Still honest. Just chose to only share and give at the surface level. It’s like having an acquaintance. That felt better than estrangement to me.
2026-11-05 12:49:25
1
McKenzie :
Surface level relationships aren’t worth it outside of like a coworker situation where there’s no choice
2026-11-03 16:51:08
2
brooke bee :
When I work with folks on their complex trauma, I’ve found that we have to confront the grief of the parent not showing up as they should’ve before we can get here.
2026-11-03 02:18:44
5
Glowworm47 :
The thing is my dad wants a deep relationship, but then he can't handle it. I've tried to keep it surface level.
2026-11-03 18:24:35
1
Cristina 💙 :
Surface relationships are fundamentally performative because they require adherence to a rigid, unspoken script rather than allowing for authentic presence. This constant curating is exactly why these dynamics feel so exhausting.
2026-11-03 05:33:24
4
Valleymom :
Disagree.
2026-11-03 00:19:49
4
MommaAlchemist :
Unless it's a co-worker it's not worth it to have no depth to the relationship
2026-11-03 20:07:09
1
HereForTheComments 🇨🇦 :
Why bother with the relationship at all if the people can’t be authentic.
2026-11-03 00:24:15
5
Ashley :
My husband has a surface relationship with his parents and it works for all of them. It’s not up to me to judge
2026-11-03 04:24:04
2
Reheated Coffee & Plot Twists :
I wish. My dad can’t stay in that scope. His rage magnifies when I don’t take his constant bait. 😢
2026-11-03 02:59:44
2
nojgates :
Me (age 45): “Hey dad, can we talk about…” Dad (age 72): “DON’T BRING THAT SHIT UP ANYMORE”.
2026-11-03 15:35:17
1
ericabloom205 :
it absolutely breaks me to that
2026-11-03 02:26:49
1
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