@drkathynickerson: If you truly loved someone, would you ever cheat? It makes sense to believe the answer is no. Cheating is profoundly hurtful, and it is certainly not loving behavior. But feeling love and behaving lovingly are different things. Someone can love their partner and still make choices that cause tremendous harm. For many people, an affair becomes an escape from emotional pain: shame, insecurity, unresolved trauma, fear of vulnerability, or feelings they don’t know how to manage. In that fantasy, they get to become a different version of themselves, temporarily free from the struggles of everyday life. This is one reason infidelity can tell us more about how someone feels about themselves and copes with distress than about their partner’s worth or lovability. That explains something about the behavior. It does not excuse it. Many people experience emotional pain without cheating, and the person who cheats remains responsible for their choices. In affair recovery, “I love you” matters. But rebuilding trust after betrayal requires that love to become consistent, honest, accountable behavior. #AffairRecovery #Affair #Infidelity #Cheating #CheatingHusband

FrodoTheViking :

I would say love is the action when you put someone else's need above your own. This said, I think the common factor for all who cheat is selfishness. The fearful action of having another branch to stand on is still more important than the wellbeing of the one they claim to love.

Bax🇨🇦 :

Your credentials and experience speak to your conclusions on this topic and are inarguable. However, it is dangerous for victims of spousal abuse to believe anything good or hopeful about the cheating (abusive) partner. It is also unhealthy and an impediment to healing for victims of infidelity to be asked to “understand”, thereby justify, the psychology of their cheating partner.

ScottB71 :

If you are here and do not want to reconcile then she is not the dr for you move on. Be happy

Gingervitis :

Disagree. If you genuinely loved someone, you wouldn't make choices to hurt them. If you're going to still categorize that as love, then that's a toxic type of love.

LynnM :

There is also an element of cowardice.

Kristy :

Is a one night stand while drunk after a work function considered an affair? She did get pregnant.

Obi Wan :

May they Choke on your fear.

Star_Regina :

What about being scared of getting older specifically him turning 70?

Natalie :

Why stay with someone if you want to cheat? Makes no sense anyone has intentions of cheating should leave there relationship!

EPK :

The partner normally feels all the same feelings,the difference is the coping mechanisms as well as many other things,i agree that we need to accept they do have real feelings but very very unhealthy ways to deal with those emotions and they need to deal with their destructive ways of coping.

user5216272558054 :

Hmmm not always, surely? I mean maybe for some cheaters, but not all.

Keith :

I follow you and have learned a lot but I don’t understand the “ fear of abandonment part”.

Iamlateiamlate87 :

But why do they think it is ok for them to have another relationship but not be honest with you so you could explore another relationship

Novel Solutions :

isnt it just physical

Tsukiles :

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♊️Heather🌻 :

I feel you

ScottB71 :

Well i will own. I cheated. And i love my partner. I dont know why. That said. I really really regret it. If anyone sees this. DO NOT Cheat. Its devastating for your partner. And YOU! That said. For those that struggle. Dr Kathy has helped me. Ive been talking for 2 yrs. Sadly. My relationship did not work after my actions. I accept responsibility and own my shit. But she still helps me be a better man for the next relationship when IM ready. She is legit. And no i dont get paid for this. Lol.

Tsukiles :

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IN THE KNOW WITH NOSIE JOSIE :

I love your videos Dr. Kathy! I am super super single but I find your content super educational 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Cathy M :

truth

DeadPyro :

Azira :

Is that true that people who cheats, the truth that they dont know yet, they are actually deeply non monogamous ? I heard someone talk about this in another video. So, if we repair and work and have the courage to stay, it would be pointless because they will.repeat the behaviour? I am a bit confuse with this new informations re non monogamous

WestEgg Sourdough & Hens :

my husband is VERY in love w me...he has trauma and a truck load of shit...so do I!!!! I never cheated so fuck him

Johnny5 :

it’s an attraction that grows with time into a sexual desire for someone you shouldn’t have if you’re already in an relationship! It’s a person trying to fulfill their hearts wants and desires at the same time with two different people 😅 remember cheater’s never win and winners never cheat!! Be true to yourself..🙏

Abby sunshine :

Fuck their pain. What about the pain they cause?