@professor.steph: If hurting a loved one’s feelings automatically and immediately makes you a bad person, then you are going to work to defend against that no matter the cost…. And that ultimate cost is connection with your loved one. Because a closed mind and defensive heart is not one that flows with empathy. It is rigid and brittle, and cannot hold the weight of owning your impact. And now the problem is not that you hurt your loved one’s feelings even when you didn’t intend to, it is the fact you are unwilling to extend empathy to their hurt. THAT is what Dr. Thomas Lynch calls a relationship-destroying behavior. The truth is, hurt is a part of ALL relationships. You hurt your friend’s feelings. You hurt your partner’s feelings. Heck you hurt your dog’s feelings. The hurt is natural. What we do with is what either strengthens or injures our relationships, and reflects our core values. 🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹 Note: 🚫 this does NOT mean you get a pass to hurt people without seeking repair 🚫 this does NOT mean that even if you’re open to repair, that the relationship will heal, or your loved one will also be ready for repair 🚫 hurt is NOT the same thing as harm, manipulation, coercion, and abuse. #Attachmentstyles #relationshipeducation #hurtisnormal #emotionalintimacy #healthyrelationships

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2026-11-04 17:24:47

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