Jefferson Fisher
Region: US
Thursday 05 November 2026 17:58:57 GMT
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bryann :
So what should we say instead?
2026-11-05 19:10:34
97
kaijanante :
Just do it especially when you know someone is in need
2026-11-07 08:25:40
0
Jon Moore :
One time someone said that to me and I said yeah my grass needs to be cut. And it got cut. Point is you need to have a list of things you can delegate.
2026-11-07 11:19:43
0
ds562731321 :
Let’s not make it harder for people to try and show kindness. It’s not unkind for someone to say “let me know if”, but if there’s something that can help better, great. The original isn’t negative. I don’t want people to be afraid of trying their best to be kind.
2026-11-05 19:46:03
2
biz🐝 :
This is genuinely so helpful. Thank you!
2026-11-07 09:18:17
0
OneTwo3LockBox :
instead say, "how can I help?"
2026-11-05 19:14:02
22
🇺🇸🖕🥓Stained Soul🥓🖕🇺🇸 :
absolutely not. I have my own life, I'm not managing anyone else's. if they need help they can reach out, same if I need help. none of us are mind readers.
2026-11-05 20:52:40
10
Khiz :
I say “let me know if” and I mean it exactly like you described. I rarely wanna take responsibility or help because my time is valuable and I have limited capacity to care. So yeah, let me know if I can explain more
2026-11-07 08:59:11
0
Vmprman :
So then you go and just do the thing, and turns out that’s not what the person wanted you to do at all and you make things worse by acting without communicating
2026-11-05 22:29:40
13
Get off your high horse 💞🇨🇦 :
1,000% cop out.
2026-11-05 22:43:42
0
Chane :
Offer to do something. Hey can I bring over supper on ____ night? Can I pick up the kids? Could I grab groceries for you? send me the list! If they don’t want what you offer done, they will tell you. This might also let you know of another task they need help with
2026-11-06 03:14:21
2
RachaelJulianna :
When I had major surgery, my friends got together and sent me a door dash gift of $300. They didn’t ask what I needed. They just did it. It was PERFECT and exactly what I needed
2026-11-06 23:20:45
2
colleenparker56 :
Sometimes this is accurate and sometimes it's not. I went to my friend's house after she had surgery to pick up her laundry and do it and bring it back to them. Her husband answered the door and when I told him what I wanted to do he looked at me like I was crazy. He said I already did the laundry today. I felt so silly. So there are times when just doing it isn't a good idea
2026-11-05 21:48:42
6
🫥 :
I do this. But helping is such a tricky thing. I might be intruding. And end up being a bother than being a “help” that nobody asked
2026-11-06 02:24:10
7
crocodiles0 :
You should give us a list of a few things we can do.
2026-11-06 11:36:23
1
saaanex :
i genuinely wish i read The Abandoned Laws of Life by O. Carter earlier
2026-11-05 23:29:00
297
BunnyBuilder :
Depends on situation. Let me bring you a meal, what do you want? Can I come and sit with you? I’ll come help is now ok? I tried removing that frase from my vocabulary a long time ago. It’s hard but the relationships I built were worth the effort.
2026-11-05 21:26:22
3
Andrea :
Please please please ask the recipient beforehand if they want food, company, cleaning assistance, donations, etc…. Your ideas may not be helpful, needed, or accurate for their situations (and may even exacerbate a vulnerable situation)
2026-11-06 06:11:26
3
kaijanante :
This is the worst thing any body can say to me. It shows how much they don’t wanna do it
2026-11-07 08:25:11
1
positiveLi2024 :
Here’s one. After my mom died, Hardly anybody said anything. I got NO offers of help. No one brought me anything. If someone at least offers, be grateful.
2026-11-06 01:07:47
1
Joanne Pessell :
We say that because we really want to know what people need! We’re not mind readers and we may circle the drain in the wrong direction!
2026-11-06 23:19:15
1
Amanda :
Ah, the problems of neurotypical communication. A person in need feels weird asking for help even though they just received dozens of "let me know..." bc they implicitly know they are only being polite (whatever that means). A neurodivergent communicating with other NDs would just assign each one a task and the world would now be a better place. But hey, NDs are the weird ones right?
2026-11-06 20:19:16
1
naaaazz :
This is true, it's a cop out. People who are in disagreement, reflect on yourself. can you imagine something happens to you and the people you know, responds with "let me know if you need anything". will you reach out to them? no you wouldn't. To find the answer of " so what should you". what would you want them to do? now you have your answer.
2026-11-06 22:02:44
1
InspirationMaven :
What if you don’t know how to help or what they need?
2026-11-06 03:41:48
1
debbiemachine1 :
From someone that heard that statement a thousand times when my husband died not once did I let anyone I needed help everyday. When in grief you just don’t have the bandwidth to do it.
2026-11-06 00:31:19
3
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