@familiar.strangers_: why does nobody warn you that you can miss someone while you're literally standing right in front of them? that's what i think about whenever this comes up. it's that moment in a doorway, or in a kitchen at the end of a long day, or against the car when you were supposed to have said goodbye ten minutes ago. you're already as close as two people can get. your forehead's on their forehead. your hand's holding onto the front of their hoodie like the wind might take them. and it still isn't enough. that's the funniest and most ridiculous feeling in the world. you're grabbing at them like they're about to leave for war and they're just going to the store 😭 you actually start laughing about it sometimes, because what are you even doing? where do you think you're trying to go? there's no closer. you've run out of closer. and still you keep pulling. i used to think that kind of thing only happened in movies. for a long time i'd kissed people and thought it was nice. i was thinking about whether my hair looked okay, or what we were going to eat after. i'd dated people where i was always a little bit somewhere else, always watching myself do it. so when it first happened for real, i wasn't ready. what got me wasn't really the kiss at all. it was how much i wanted to not be anywhere else. it's when you realize there isn't a part of you that's looking for the exit. every part of you is just saying here, this, you. it's a kind of missing that isn't really about anything except them. that person. their stupid laugh. the way they smell like their own laundry. it's like your heart's got too much in it and nowhere to put it, and your hands are the only thing that can try. i think it's what love feels like when it gets ahead of the words. i don't know how else to say it. to be fair, it's not like this all the time, and it shouldn't have to be. a real relationship is mostly groceries and whose turn it is to take out the trash and who forgot to call back the landlord. some weeks you're so tired that you kiss like two coworkers passing in a hallway. and if you've never felt this at all, there's nothing wrong with you or your love. everyone feels it differently. it's only that when it does happen, you remember it. you could be ninety and remember that doorway. it's proof that you were alive, that you were there, that you had somebody you couldn't get enough of. so yes, my favorite thing in the entire world is that dumb, desperate, laughing moment when there's literally no getting any closer, and we're both still trying.

familiar strangers

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Friday 06 November 2026 20:34:34 GMT