JameeSavage🧃🎀 :
I’ve lost several friends to suicide & a brother. A couple of them had children. We will never be able to understand why. But here’s the thing, it’s not our job to ever understand. God does. People can be the happiest in person & have everything, all the love, the family, the money, a relationship with God…all of it & behind closed doors they are battling something we will never understand. I suffer from severe chronic pain & 12 autoimmune diseases. My whole life changed in the blink of an eye when I got sick. It was gradual until one day I woke up & bam, everything hit me like a million bricks being carried by a train. I couldn’t stop passing out every time I stood up, I was out of breath, shaking, throwing up, couldn’t stand or walk longer than 5 minutes without passing out & having excruciating pain. No doctor could understand until I did my own research & found out I had every symptom of POTS. That was 6 years ago that I was finally diagnosed after suffering for 9 years severely. They suspect I’ve had it since a child but it didn’t get severe until I had trauma to my body (surgeries). Likely from having my first back surgery. I was once full of life, life of the party & the funny girl. I was always on the go & with friends & family. Loved my job & traveling. I’m far from any of that anymore. I’m stuck in bed, I have to have help to shower, I need a wheelchair to get around if it’s a long commute, I pass out multiple times daily still & I don’t have a social life anymore like I did. I often beg to not be here anymore. My now exhusband left me taking everything & draining our bank acct as well & I woke up to it all gone. He moved over 1,000 miles away. Leaving me with literally nothing & if it wasn’t for my mom, I wouldn’t have food, my medications, electricity, water etc. because I was dependent on him. I don’t have health insurance anymore cuz he left the job when he left as well. Our house is having to be sold & it’s just a huge mess. I never understood suicide & why people did it until I became sick & live in constant severe pain daily & in a body that literally fights me. I know I’m ready when he’s ready for me though! Sending love to you♥️
2026-11-09 17:21:31