PATRIARCHY IS WHAT WORKS FOR +234 MEN IN NAIJA — AND THEY ARE DELUSIONAL ABOUT IT! +234 men think marriage works and lasts longer in Naija than abroad. Na lie! It is not necessarily that marriages are working better in Nigeria; it is patriarchy that is working better for the men. The reason it looks that way is the power imbalance, women's financial dependency, cultural disadvantages against women and the constant preaching from churches, telling women to be submissive, build their homes and be good wives even when their husbands cheat, abuse and disrespect them. They've made Naija women believe that, for a marriage to work, a woman must work tirelessly until the end of time, regardless of what the man brings to the table. They have made women believe that once a man provides for his wife and children, he has achieved 99% of his marriage responsibilities. As if providing money is the only responsibility of a husband! What about emotional support, respect, companionship, fidelity, parenting, shared domestic responsibilities and treating your wife as an equal human being? That is pure patriarchy! In Nigeria, men enjoy a marriage system where their wives are financially dependent on them, culturally pressured to remain married and religiously encouraged to tolerate almost anything in the name of submission. They mistake a woman's inability or unwillingness to leave for evidence that they are doing something right as husbands. That is why some Naija men will not function properly as husbands when they move abroad. That is why their marriages will continue to fall like a pack of cards when they cross borders. The moment the power imbalance is challenged, the moment the financial dependency is reduced, and the moment the cultural and religious pressure to tolerate abuse is taken away, the so-called marriage expertise begins to disappear. The slave tag they have attached to their wives in marriage will be immediately taken away and thrown in the bin once they cross borders. Suddenly, the woman understands that she has rights, access to support, financial opportunities and the freedom to walk away from an abusive relationship. And that is when some men discover that providing money alone does not make you a good husband. Marriage requires partnership, respect, responsibility and emotional maturity. You cannot build a healthy marriage on control, intimidation and a woman's inability to leave. I no dey pity Naija men abroad who are struggling because the power they enjoyed over women in Nigeria is no longer available to them. They've done enough damage to women to understand that they cannot expect those same women to continue suffering in silence when they cross borders. If your marriage only works when your wife has no financial independence, no support system, no freedom to make decisions and no realistic option of leaving, then your marriage is not working. PATRIARCHY IS WORKING FOR YOU! And there is a very big difference. #misogyny #Patriarchy #theonaolaposhow #abroadlife #uknigeria🇬🇧🇳🇬 - @theonaolaposhow