@familiar.strangers_: The last real fight we had was over something small, a missed call, I think, and I remember standing in the hallway of my apartment trying to explain for what felt like the hundredth time why it hurt me. I had my speech ready. I always had my speech ready. I’d practiced it in the shower, written it in my notes app, softened it so it wouldn’t sound like an attack. I talked about how I felt forgotten. How I didn’t need much, just a sign that I mattered. And halfway through, I looked at your face and you weren’t even really listening. You were waiting for me to finish so you could say “you always make things a big deal.” That was the moment something inside me just quietly clicked off. I didn’t cry. I didn’t yell. I said “okay” and went to bed. And the next day I realized I wasn’t going to explain myself anymore. For so long I believed if I just found the right words, the right tone, the right timing, you’d finally get it. You’d see why I was hurting and you’d want to change. I spent so much energy translating my pain into a language I hoped you’d understand. But you didn’t want to understand. Understanding would’ve meant you had to do something about it. Now I’m calm, and I know that calm scares you more than the tears ever did. You keep asking if I’m okay, why I’m so quiet, why I don’t want to talk. And the truth is there’s nothing left to talk about. Not because I’m angry, but because I’m finished trying. To be fair, maybe we were never great at communicating, either of us. Maybe some of it was me, maybe I should have spoken up earlier or differently. I’m not pretending I was perfect. But at some point you have to recognize when you’ve done everything you could and the other person still chose not to meet you there. If you’re in the place I was, rehearsing the same explanation over and over, I want you to know that’s not a failure of your words. Some people just don’t want to listen. Don’t worry, I don’t need you to change anymore. I don’t need you to understand what hurts me anymore. And it’s not that we have nothing to talk about. It’s that I finally stopped begging to be heard by someone who never planned to hear me.

familiar strangers

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Tuesday 10 November 2026 01:09:13 GMT