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Murat Akram

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Tuesday 10 November 2026 19:25:21 GMT

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My sweet Cara, I am your mother, and at least for a moment, it may seem that this means I am beyond question. As if the day you arrived I became something certain, something omnipotent, as if I had all the answers at hand. But that's not true. The moment we have a child, parents are sometimes expected to become beyond question, somehow wiser, somehow complete. However, having a child is a biological fact, while being a parent is a living, constantly evolving process. Being parents means learning as we go: correcting ourselves, trying again, listening more attentively, and sometimes admitting that we don't know. And here's the part I want you to understand, because it's one of the most authentic forms of love: We don't become omnipotent when we give birth to a child. We become people who have to learn in a new way. We ourselves were children, and we are still children. We come from our own parents, from our own origins, from another time and another reality. And we learned so much from them, things that helped us survive and that we still hold onto, even when we don't want to. For some of them, we give thanks. For others, gently, we choose not to repeat them. That's not failure, it's growth. Therein lies humility, in the courage to recognize that love isn't only self-assured. Love is also humble. Love includes the capacity to give thanks and the willingness to listen. Humility is love that says:

My sweet Cara, I am your mother, and at least for a moment, it may seem that this means I am beyond question. As if the day you arrived I became something certain, something omnipotent, as if I had all the answers at hand. But that's not true. The moment we have a child, parents are sometimes expected to become beyond question, somehow wiser, somehow complete. However, having a child is a biological fact, while being a parent is a living, constantly evolving process. Being parents means learning as we go: correcting ourselves, trying again, listening more attentively, and sometimes admitting that we don't know. And here's the part I want you to understand, because it's one of the most authentic forms of love: We don't become omnipotent when we give birth to a child. We become people who have to learn in a new way. We ourselves were children, and we are still children. We come from our own parents, from our own origins, from another time and another reality. And we learned so much from them, things that helped us survive and that we still hold onto, even when we don't want to. For some of them, we give thanks. For others, gently, we choose not to repeat them. That's not failure, it's growth. Therein lies humility, in the courage to recognize that love isn't only self-assured. Love is also humble. Love includes the capacity to give thanks and the willingness to listen. Humility is love that says: "I learned from you." "I might be wrong." "I want to understand you." "I'm here to try." And because you are you, and I want to be the kind of mother with whom you feel safe, I want to ask you the most important questions: What do you need to be happy right now? What would you like me to do for you right now? What kind of mother would you like me to be? I'm not asking to test you, but because I want your voice to matter. Because love, true love, doesn't just speak. It listens. Cara, I love you. Always. And I promise I'll keep learning to love you. With all my love, Mom

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