@deeploneliness_: I’ll admit it, the first time I saw that TikTok I sent it to two friends and my sister with no caption, because I didn’t trust myself to type anything without sounding paranoid. Then I sat on my bed waiting for one of them to reply “that’s not real” so I could relax. Nobody did. Because it described something I’d been living for two months and kept explaining away. The texts didn’t stop, they just got shorter. “Sorry, crazy week.” “Things are just a lot right now.” “I promise it’s not you.” Every time I asked if something was wrong, he’d say he was dealing with stuff, but it was never clear what stuff. Plans became “maybe this weekend” and then “let’s see.” He still said nice things, still called me babe, but it felt like talking to someone through a window. And I did exactly what that video said. I started pulling back first, not because I wanted to, but because I couldn’t stand being the only one holding on. So is it true? Honestly, sometimes. Not every time, and I want to be fair about that. People really do go through hard things they’re not ready to talk about. Depression, family problems, money, work stress, grief. Sometimes someone pulls away because they’re drowning, not because they’re done with you, and they might not have the words yet. That version deserves patience. But here’s the difference I learned the hard way: someone who’s struggling but still wants you will usually try to let you in, even a little. They’ll say “I’m having a hard time, I’m not going anywhere, can you bear with me.” They’ll give you something to hold onto. Someone who’s lost interest keeps everything vague on purpose, because vague means you can’t argue with it. It lets them avoid the uncomfortable conversation and wait for you to end it, so they never have to be the bad guy. If you’re in that limbo right now, you’re allowed to ask directly. “Are you still in this?” And if the answer is still fog, you’re allowed to take that as an answer. You don’t have to leave first because you were pushed. You can leave first because you finally decided your time matters too.

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Tuesday 10 November 2026 21:10:31 GMT