@embetweenworlds: unlike how it seems on the surface, visiting home is actually painful for me. not like the pain of getting a paper cut, but more like the pain of picking at an old wound over and over again until you break skin and bleed again—and then the original wound takes twice as long to heal. my parents had adapted their own lifestyle to focus on surviving and eliminating any threat to that. you know, when you’re running for your life, you don’t have time to feel sad or even become conscious of your pain. your brain actually is able to block off the feeling of pain so you can do what you need to do to survive. there’s one aspect of survival that we don’t talk about, and that’s human connection. neuroscience research suggests it’s as essential as food, water, and shelter. they were not available to grow this emotional connection with me as a child and I grew desperate to latch on to any emotional connection I could find, even if it was detrimental for me and for others. I had to teach myself self-worth and self respect, instead of self-sacrificing and people pleasing. this is the self-work that allows me to offer these moments of affection with them. you can only give someone something if you have it within you. they don’t see that side though—and I don’t want to worry them or force them to understand the work I have had to do. but i wish they saw my growth. hopefully it brings us one step closer to mending the inter generational trauma that is so pervasive and emotionally erosive in our immigrant families and homes. . #immigrant #immigrantstories #immigrants #firstgen #firstgeneration #immigrantparents #immigrantcheck #intergenerationaltrauma #intergenerationalhealing

embetweenworlds

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Friday 06 October 2023 20:47:06 GMT