@helena_earls: allowing ourselves the luxury of embracing our own humanity #innerchildhealing #fawnresponse #traumahealing #cptsdrecovery

helena_earls

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Wednesday 31 December 2025 21:00:00 GMT

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Comments

Vin Kiva 🏳️‍⚧️ :

Also, people who WANT to be around full human beings, will actually feel LESS safe with people who fawn bc they understand when they're being managed and when you're not being real with them. Fawning isn't actually good for them, either.

2026-01-04 03:12:12

113

Megan Campbell :

Honestly with both CPTSD and autism I needed to hear this

2026-02-20 23:25:56

6

colormyhippo :

Putting this on with some lofi and meditating to it 🙏

2025-12-31 21:12:28

94

4B_Bear :

You can be kind and respectful, though. There's a difference between triggering someone because of their issues and being abusive or insensitive

2026-01-01 10:28:29

26

WitchyWeirdo :

This means so much to me. I can’t be perfect for everyone even if I want to be, it just isn’t real.

2025-12-31 22:39:26

53

Nightmare Vex :

tips to restructure a relationship instead of losing it entirely? once you have this awareness is it just doomed to be over forever

2026-01-02 22:14:22

2

Aspen Dykens :

Immediately made me cry lmao thank you

2025-12-31 22:11:55

13

taradeanie :

Thank you 💛 I just need to learn not to express my feelings passive aggressively.

2026-01-01 08:17:13

10

sovereignhellwig :

i could listen to you talk all day. you’re so much healthier than me.

2026-01-01 03:19:22

43

trashley :

perfect timing on this. my fiance's cis male friends try to put me in the "free emotional support" role and abSOLUTELY NOT, but I felt so guilty telling them no and knowing they'd struggle. thank you for this post

2025-12-31 23:37:08

15

🩷🧡🤍possum in disguise🤍🧡🩷 :

you're right...

2026-01-14 20:02:25

6

Spooky Babe :

It’s very very hard when that’s the only thing you’ve ever been valued for…

2026-01-03 11:11:33

1

goddesslagom | 🪴🧘🏼‍♀️🍂☕️ :

Ugh, I had this realization a little while ago and it has been such a hard adjustment 😭 who knew that unlearning the fear of holding boundaries would be so critical

2026-01-01 17:10:49

3

franklyfrancesca :

I needed to hear this. I keep trying so hard to be a safe space for everyone (because that’s what I needed) but it’s not possible

2026-01-03 07:02:51

3

BAF1's :

I do think this and my nervous system is crushed under it

2026-01-01 16:10:13

4

Actually.a.small.bird :

But that’s what other people keep telling me

2026-01-03 04:15:20

1

sandrine.sandrine.sandrine :

This 😭

2026-01-01 10:01:05

1

judytaylor181 :

I needed this, thank you.

2025-12-31 21:39:28

4

Kit :

This came to me at the right time. Im having a big discussion with my husband in therapy tomorrow that I have been hiding from but it HAS to come out

2026-01-03 09:03:05

1

arawra :

ty

2026-02-10 14:07:34

0

A :

Correct. i am NOT a good girl.

2026-02-20 16:01:42

0

clairebear :

Love the way you frame this

2026-02-18 08:21:29

0

Sonni :

This made me tense up.

2026-02-19 08:44:02

0

glorp 🦠👽 :

NEEDED to hear that first part.

2026-01-04 16:19:32

0

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If your mood constantly rises and falls depending on how someone else is acting, this isn't a flaw in your character. It's what emotionally abusive and unpredictable dynamics do to your nervous system over time. When someone's behaviour towards you is inconsistent, your body learns to use their mood as a signal for whether you're safe. When they're happy, you feel okay. When they're distant or cold or annoyed, your nervous system goes into threat response, even if nothing has actually happened. That anxious, urgent, can't-settle feeling is your body trying to eliminate the threat, which in an emotionally abusive dynamic means trying to make them happy with you again so you can feel safe again. Three things genuinely help with this. First, understand what's happening. Recognising it as a nervous system response, not a reflection of reality, gives you a bit more room to work with. Second, notice when you're in that activated state and pause. Put your hand on your chest and remind yourself out loud that you're safe right now. It sounds simple but it's you starting to generate safety from within rather than from them. Third, redirect your attention to something simple and physical in your immediate environment. Not to avoid the situation, but to show your body that there's no actual threat here. The more consistently you do this, the more you start to break the pattern that emotionally abusive dynamics create in your nervous system, where someone else's mood controls how you feel Official accounts and resources: www.ellyanastasiades.com #emotionalabuse #emotionallyabusiverelationship #abusive #relationshipabuse #relationshiptok

If your mood constantly rises and falls depending on how someone else is acting, this isn't a flaw in your character. It's what emotionally abusive and unpredictable dynamics do to your nervous system over time. When someone's behaviour towards you is inconsistent, your body learns to use their mood as a signal for whether you're safe. When they're happy, you feel okay. When they're distant or cold or annoyed, your nervous system goes into threat response, even if nothing has actually happened. That anxious, urgent, can't-settle feeling is your body trying to eliminate the threat, which in an emotionally abusive dynamic means trying to make them happy with you again so you can feel safe again. Three things genuinely help with this. First, understand what's happening. Recognising it as a nervous system response, not a reflection of reality, gives you a bit more room to work with. Second, notice when you're in that activated state and pause. Put your hand on your chest and remind yourself out loud that you're safe right now. It sounds simple but it's you starting to generate safety from within rather than from them. Third, redirect your attention to something simple and physical in your immediate environment. Not to avoid the situation, but to show your body that there's no actual threat here. The more consistently you do this, the more you start to break the pattern that emotionally abusive dynamics create in your nervous system, where someone else's mood controls how you feel Official accounts and resources: www.ellyanastasiades.com #emotionalabuse #emotionallyabusiverelationship #abusive #relationshipabuse #relationshiptok

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Goal or offside 😎

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Semprotan Nutrisi Akar Rambut Cepat Tumbuhkan Rambut, Atasi Masalah Rambut Tipis Sejak Remaja, Kurangi Rambut Jatuh Berlebihan Tiap Hari, Cocok Dipakai Sebelum Tidur Hasil Lebih Cepat Terlihat

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